Eastbound and Down
by FAH3
Summary: FINISHED! Three familiar faces have taken a bet to drive from Texas to Georgia in twentyeight hours. They might be able to make it if they can shake off a certain Smokey.
1. The Big Bet

I know some of you probably won't like this one, but I just had to do it. this idea has been bubbling in my head and I started writting it late last night. This is mainly a comedy based on my favorite movie. It has swear words galore, humor, and a few adult situations. So sit back, relax, and enjoy._

* * *

_

_Eastbound and Down_

The attitudes of the staff at the maximum security prison was as cold as the metal that lined every single wall of the whole building Even looking at a photo of the building's interior would make someone so depressed that not even Zoloft or any other medication would help. So actually walking through the building itself was almost hell for the two people walking to the visitor's room. At least it was depressing for the short individual as he walked with the larger individual that was with him. The smaller man had a few streaks of gray through his hair and thick mustache while the larger gentleman's mustache was almost completely gray, but the top of his head smelled from the recent dye he used on what was left of his hair while the ten gallon tan cowboy hat concealed the large bald spot on his head.

"I don't know why the hell we're here, Daddy." The small man said.

"Now son, I told you that this person is the best. From what I hear, the biggest thing about them is their ego. We offer enough money and they would probably do what ever we asked them, legal or not. They'd probably go to a minister's funeral dressed in a chicken suit if we paid them enough." The large man said as they entered a large room with metal tables and chairs and a security camera in every corner.

"I still don't know, Daddy." The small man said as they took a seat.

"Son, this person and the other one have some history. Hell, they're practically modern legends." The big man said.

"Then a legend and an out of work bum must look an awful lot alike if this one is anything like the other moron." The little man said.

Soon the door at the other end of the room opened as a guard escorted a prisoner in an orange jumpsuit into the room and placed them at the table with the two gentlemen. The prisoner looked up and let out a loud laugh as the prisoner saw the two men that had come to talk. Despite the obvious and main difference of their size, both were wearing Baltic blue suits with yellow trim, and both were wearing tan ten gallon cowboy hats. To the prisoner, they looked like something from the old singing cowboy movies, o something out of a gay rodeo.

"It must be an awful bitch to find something in a sixty-five extra fat and a twelve dwarf." The prisoner said in their normal sarcastic tone.

"We don't have to put up with this bullshit." The little man said as he tried to stand but sat back down as the hand of his companion pushed him back into his seat.

"We've come to you with a job offer because of your, how do I say this? Skills?" the large man asked.

"A job? What world are you living in? I'm in here for life without parole you fat ass moron. This isn't some hotel I can walk out of." The prisoner said to their visitor.

"That's where I come in. You see, I've happened to make a few friends over the years and I'm able to pull a few strings." The man said as a large smile grew on his face.

"I'm supposed to believe you have that much sway?" the person asked, not believing one word this man was saying.

"No, but I do have that much money. I have a bet going, and I need a very skilled person to win it for me. If you were that person, and were to win me my bet, you get 900,000 dollars in cash and I see to it that your record is erased and not ever seen again." The man told the prisoner.

The prisoner's jaw fell slack enough that it would have hit the table if it came loose from their head. Did this fat goofball just offer a lot of money and a one way ticket to freedom or did all those fights in life make the prisoner start hearing things?

"You have got to be joking! Why do you need me to win your bet?" the prisoner asked the two men.

"Because he wants to win, you moron." The little man said to the cuffed prisoner.

"Why don't you insult my mother and see how much longer you keep that brush you call a mustache?" the prisoner asked the rude little person.

"Your mama is so ugly,"

"Now son, don't be so rude. Now what do you say about my little offer?" the large man asked the prisoner.

The prisoner thought about it, and still didn't believe one word this person said. What else did the prisoner have to loose? The prisoner wouldn't miss anything here except drift slowly into madness in that stupid small cell. It had also been awhile since the prisoner had seen the light of day that wasn't in a walled in area or looking through a bared window. What should the prisoner do? The prisoner wasn't that big of an idiot, go for it!

"All right. What do I have to do in your little bet?" the prisoner asked them.

"The starting point is in Atlanta, Georgia. Once you're there, the rest of the bet will be explained. The short part of it is that I need you to run block for a big rig of mine." He told the prisoner.

"That's it? You can get any gear head to do that." The prisoner said. They weren't going to pass it up, but it was just a little insulting to do something so simple after what the prisoner had done in their life to be put into a maximum security prison.

"True, but I need someone who knows how to outrun any Smokey that tries to catch what I'm hauling." The big man said.

The prisoner thought that whatever this man was hauling was most likely something illegal. Maybe he was trafficking guns or drugs. For all the prisoner knew, this guy was hauling parts for Dr. Dementor. It was still a chance to get out prison.

"When can I get out here?" the prisoner asked the two men in front of her.

"Right now. We've got a limo waiting outside, all you have to do is meet us out there." The man said as he stood up while the guard unlocked the prisoner's handcuffs.

* * *

The old Sunfire stopped in front of the nice two story house that looked like it jumped out of a magazine and into real life. In the front yard, a large blue big rig with a trailer attached that had a mural of a wagon from the old west being pulled by a team of wild horses. As the owner of the car got out and moved a few strands of his blond hair out of his eyes, he merely shook his head as he looked at the trailer.

"I told him he should have gone with something else." The young man said as he walked to the front door of the house and gave it a firm knock.

The person that answered the door was a young black woman wearing a yellow tank top and a pair of tight fitting jeans.

"Well, look what the wind blew in." the woman said with a smile as he embraced the young man in a firm hug. "How have you been, Ron?"

"I've been doing good. So Monique, is Felix in?" the young man asked as he removed his sunglasses.

"Why do you want to know? Is there another video game competition in town?" Monique asked her friend.

"Not this time. I've got a job for me and him." Ron said as he tried to enter the house, but had Monique's arm in the way to block him.

"Ron, he already has a job. Why would he be interested in another one?" Monique asked.

"How about one that's worth 900,000 dollars?" Ron asked as his trade mark goofy grin appeared.

"Say what?" Monique as her eyes became wide as saucers.

Ron used this to slip past his friend and went straight to the bedroom on the second floor. Sleeping in the large queen sized bed, his head covered by a bed spread and his chair at the side, was the form of his friend Felix. Felix was smart and for some odd reason decided to become a truck driver. A lot of people told him to forget it, but Felix proved them wrong. With the aid of his mother, Felix created another cyber-robotic chair that gave him the ability to drive a big rig. Felix was now one of the best known truck drivers known, and enjoyed making the doubters eating their words.

"Hey, Felix!" Ron said in his normal upbeat tone of voice. All he got was a loud groan.

"Come one, Felix. It's time to get up." Ron said as he walked to the sleeping forward. As he pulled back the covers, he was rewarded with a view of Felix's feet. Ron pulled back the other end of the covers and lightly slapped Felix in the face to wake him up.

"Come on, Felix. I got us a job." Ron told him.

"Already have job. Go away!" Felix groaned as he put his pillow over his head.

"Come on, Felix. It's time to get up." Ron said as he picked up his friend and set him in his chair.

"I just came back from one, and I got another in two days." Felix groaned as he started to regain his senses from his slumber.

"Oh, really? What are you hauling this time?" Ron asked as he slid one of Felix's Zombie Basher T-Shirts over his friends head and put his baseball cap on his head.

"I've got to haul a load of manure." Felix groaned as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"That's a shitty job. I got us another one." Ron told him.

"Wait a minute, Ron. Last time you got me a job, I ended up hauling a tanker full of rocket fuel through a mine field." Felix said to his friend.

"So KP forgot to tell me where we were going. This one is better. We're actually getting paid." Ron told him as he sat on the bed to look at Felix in the eyes.

"Okay. What do we have to haul?" Felix asked, not trusting Ron at the moment.

"Don't know. We meet the guy who hired us in Atlanta, Georgia and he tells us." Ron told him.

"And how much is he paying?" Felix asked, not trusting the sound of this job already.

"Nine, I repeat, 900,000 dollars." Ron said with a smirk.

Felix's eyes became wider than his wife's as what Ron said absorbed into his brain.

"You just said 900,000 just then, right?" Felix asked his friend.

"Oh yeah."

"MONIQUE! WHERE'S MY KEYS?" Felix shouted to his wife.

* * *

They were almost to the fair grounds in Atlanta when Ron finally decided to ask about the large dog that had decided to use his lap for a pillow.

"Felix? Where did this thing come from?" Ron asked.

"You don't remember that little puppy I got months ago?" Felix asked with a grin.

"Puppy? You mean this is Fred? What happened to him?" Ron asked as he looked at the tri color basset hound.

"He grew, that's what puppies do. I don't go anywhere without him. He's one ferocious watch dog." Felix said with pride as he turned into the fairgrounds. They soon found themselves being flagged down to a roped off area where many other big rigs were parked, and saw a large man standing next a small man waving them down. Both were wearing yellow suits with brown trim and elaborate western patterns on them. Along with tan ten gallon hats on both of their hats.

"Where did these two rodeo clowns come from?" Felix asked as he opened the driver side door.

"They're the one's who hired us." Ron said as he got out of the passenger side of the big rig.

The little man's jaw seemed to drop as both men saw four mechanical tentacles carry Felix out of the truck and ease him to the grass. As soon as the chair touched ground, the retracted into the back of the chair and out of sight.

"You hired a damn cripple to drive the truck?" the little man asked his father.

"Cripple or not, he's the right one for the job. I'm glad you two finally made it." The man said as he walked up to the young men. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Big Enos Burdette, and this here is my son Little Enos." The man said as he shook Ron and Felix's hand.

"That sounds a little close to dick head." Felix whispered to Ron who both smirked.

"Now, I bet you are both wondering what I hired you two for." Big Enos said as he and his son took a seat at a table with an umbrella opened over it to provide shade.

"The thought did cross our minds once or twice." Felix said as Ron took a seat at the table and Felix wheeled close to it.

"Here's what's going on. I got a guy in the Southern Classic, and I was looking into getting refreshments. One of my old friends remembered an old bet I made years ago and claimed that I couldn't find anyone to repeat it. Being the man I am, and having so much money that I don't know what the hell to do with it, I made the bet." Big Enos told them.

"So what is the bet?" Ron asked them.

"I'd prefer to tell you the rest when all three of you are here." Big Enos told them.

"Wait a minute, did you just say three?" Ron asked them.

"That's right. I forgot to tell you that I hired you some extra help. I need Ron to run block for the load, and I trust his talents, but I hired him some help just in case things got too big for you." Big Enos said with a smile.

"So who am I driving with?" Ron asked them.

"She's coming right now." Big Enos said as he looked pass the two young men.

"She?" Felix and Ron asked at the same time.

Ron and Felix turned to see a black 2000 Pontiac Trans Am convertible roar through the roads and slid to a stop about five feet away from the four men. As soon as the engine stopped, they saw a woman wearing skin tight black jeans and a green spaghetti strap tank top jump out of the car while wearing a pair of wire dark frame sunglasses and a white cowboy hat. Felix and Ron were drooling at the slim sex symbol in front of them as her raven black hair blew in the wind as she made her way to the table. It took Ron a few minutes for his brain to register who this person was, but finally remembered the woman's identity when he noticed her pale green skin.

"SHEGO?" Ron shouted and bolted out of his seat.

"STOPPABLE? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" Shego shouted as she recognized the young man. He was twenty now, and a little broader with a few more muscles, but it was the buffoonish sidekick.

"Miss Shego, this is your back up should something arise." Bid Enos said to the woman as she balled up her fist.

"I agreed to run block for your fucking truck, not team up with a klutz!" Shego told the two men who hired her.

"They're the best, and so are you." Big Enos told her.

"So you either work with them, or you're pretty little ass goes back to the slammer." Little Enos told her.

"Watch your language little lady." Shego told him.

Both Ron and Shego eyed each other for a minute before Shego let out a scoff and took a seat while Ron sat back down.

"Did they tell you what they want us to do?" Ron asked her.

"Not yet. Now that I'm here, can we cut through all the secret agent bullshit and find out what this so called bet is?" Shego asked the two men.

"Well here's what I need you to do for me to win my little bet. What I need you to do is go down to Texarkana for me, pick up about four hundred cases of Coors Beer, and bring it back in twenty-eight hours." Big Enos told all of them.

"You want us to haul beer from Texas to here in twenty-eight hours?" Ron asked them.

"If you think you can't handle it, I'll gladly tell you to piss off." Little Enos told them with a smug grin.

"Why do you want that much beer, anyway?" Shego asked them.

"Because he's thirsty, dummy." Little Enos said.

"You see, it happened once before. The bet is that I couldn't find the right people to do it again. If you three make it, the pay is 900,000 dollars." He told them.

"Wait a minute. I've got to split 900,000 three ways?" Shego asked in an annoyed tone of voice.

"You misunderstood. The pay is 900,000 dollars for the each of you." Big Enos told them.

Shego looked over her glasses at the two men to try and find any trace of them lying their asses off while Ron's left eye made a small twitch.

"Stoppable, get your ass in that car right now!" Shego said as she stood up.

On the way to the car, she turned around and looked at Felix.

"Wait a second. What's your handle?" Shego asked him.

"My handle is Cyborg. What's yours?" Felix asked her.

"It's simple. Call me Bandit." Shego said as she and Ron hopped into the car and drove off down the road with Felix following close behind.

* * *

Ron was feeling a little uncomfortable sitting next to the woman that was his best friend's enemy for many years. The last time he saw her was a year ago when he and Kim stopped Drakken from conquering the world, and Drakken disappeared when his hideout blew up. Kim caught Shego and she was sent to rot in prison without parole. So what was she doing here? Ron might as well try and make small talk so the time might go by quicker.

"So how did you get out? Bribe a guard?" Ron asked her. Shego just gave him a small glare.

"The Odd Couple back there gave me an offer. I help them win this bet, I get a clean slate. So why isn't the Princess with you? Last I heard was that you and her were a couple." Shego said, trying to get used to the fact that she was sharing a ride with someone she didn't really like.

"Oh, right. That little thing. We kind of broke up not too long after you got locked up." Ron said while scratching the back of his neck.

"Oh, trouble in paradise?" Shego asked with a smirk. Ron started to turn red at Shego's comment.

"NO! Nothing like that. It just seemed too much like I was dating my sister or something." Ron told her.

"I guess that makes a little sense." Shego said, and was actually surprised to hear that the two broke up. As Shego glanced at Ron, she knew something was missing. Something that seemed to always be there was now gone. That's when she noticed what the missing thing was.

"Wait a minute, don't you usually have that naked rodent with you?" Shego asked.

He always had the hairless pink rodent on him, and this time he was no where to be seen. That was also when Ron looked away for a minute.

"He died a few months ago of old age. Naked Mole Rats only live so long before they finally kick it." Ron told her as a small tear rolled down his cheek. "So you think we can actually pull this off?" Ron asked her, trying to change the subject.

"It's only nine hundred miles there and nine hundred miles back." Shego told him.

"Has it ever been done before?" Ron asked her.

"Once that I know of. It was back in the 70's. Back then, it was illegal to haul Coors east of Texas." Shego told him.

"You know this, how?" Ron asked her.

"My dad was a truck driver. You learn a few things when you go on a cross country ride for take your daughter to work week." Shego told him.

"Shego, that's supposed to be only one day." Ron told her.

"Not with my dad. That reminds me." Shego said as she grabbed the microphone to the built in CB Radio and switched it to a clear channel.

"Breaker One, Breaker One. This is the Bandit, is the Cyborg out there? Am I hittin' ya son?" Shego asked into the microphone.

"_You put about eight and a half on me. Blowin' my windows out. Bring it on."_ Felix replied.

"I'll be within earshot. You keep it wound up to around 90. Ten-four." Shego replied.

"_Hey Bandit, me and Fred's got a question for Ron. How come we're doing this?"_ Felix asked. Ron took the mic from Shego to reply.

"Three reasons for you Cyborg. We're doing it for the money, for the fame, and for the fun. But it's mostly for the money." Ron told him.

"_That's good with Fred. We're clear."_

"Ten-Four." Shego said and hung the mic back up.

"I'm impressed. You really do know how to use a CB." Ron said to his temporary partner.

"Then hang on to your ass Stoppable, because you're fixing to have your socks knocked off." Shego said as she gunned and sent the car flying down the road at warp speed.

* * *

Kim Possible is owned by Disney, and Smokey and The Bandit is owned by Universal Studios. I am not with either and wrote this for fun. 


	2. Lack of Respect for the Law

I had to rush on this chapter a little. The adapter to my Laptop has been chewed on by my puppy, and it'll be awhile before I can get another one. So I have to concerve power until then. I can still post artwork thanks to my older PC, but all my stories are in the laptop. So I hope you enjoy this as much as the first.

* * *

It was already night fall by the time they reached the half way point. Shego had done all the driving do far, not even giving Ron the tiniest hint if he was going to get to drive or not. It was still ack-weird as he watched the darkened road ahead. Here was Shego sitting next to him. The well known thief and fighter who had done her best to pound not just Kim, but his own butt so many times that he had lost count. He still felt a pain in his neck now and then from where Shego had clothes lined him during the Lil' Diablo incident. There was also another bad thing about being in the same car with her. It was no secret that Shego was so incredibly hot that Playboy would put all the other gentlemen's magazine out of business if she ever posed for it. And that tank top she was wearing made it hard for Ron to keep his eyes on the road. Or the CB radio, or the rear view. In fact, Ron had been looking at her cleavage for the past three minutes and prayed that the skilled fighter hadn't noticed him.

Luck wasn't with him though. The villainess had noticed Ron's eyes repeatedly wondering and locking onto her natural born assets. Her body was one of the things she was proud of and made sure she kept in shape, and sometimes used it to gain the upper hand in a fight. She decided to have a little fun since she knew that most likely, the poor boy was still the little gentleman.

"Hey, Ron!" Shego said, snapping the boy out of his trance.

"Huh? Wh-what is it?" Ron asked as he tried to regain his composure.

"Have fun exploring the Rockies?" the villainess asked with a wicked grin.

The grin grew wider when she saw the boy stutter, turn red, and sweat a mile per minute all at the same time. She let out her normal snarky laugh as the boy began to hyperventilate while he tried to think of a good excuse. That's when both noticed red and blue lights reflecting off the mirrors and was soon followed by a loud siren.

"Well, hello there Smokey." Shego said as a very evil grin began to cross her face.

"Why do I have a feeling I'm going to regret this?" Ron asked himself and made sure his seatbelt was tightened.

Shego floored the car and flew down the roads like a dragster, leaving the police car behind them struggling to catch up.

"I didn't know a Trans Am could go this fast." Ron said as he felt himself being pushed backwards into the seat.

"I tweaked it a little bit." Shego said as she came to an intersection with a red light and took a sharp left.

As soon as they cleared the turn she jumped the divider, went across the opposing lane, and hid behind the office of a small hotel.

"You know Shego, you could have just,"

"Shut it, Stoppable." Shego said as she killed the engine and the lights and kept her eyes on the rear view mirrors.

The chasing police car soon took the same sharp turn, and flew straight on down the road and completely missed Shego and Ron. Shego let out a small laugh as she started the engine back up and slowly made her way back to the road while keeping an eye out for the police car.

"That's one way to avoid the County Mounties." Shego said as the drove back onto the road.

"I'll admit, that was a good idea. What would have been even better is if you would've drove into that little car graveyard since the gate's busted open and hid out among the heaps." Ron said as he pointed his thumb to his right.

Shego looked into the direction Ron was pointing and saw that he was right.

"Well, shit." Shego mumbled and drove back towards their destination.

Shego glanced one more time to see if there was any sign of the Smokey and saw a smug grin forming on Ron's face.

"No one likes a smart ass." She said, causing Ron's grin to grow wider.

The one thing Shego hated the most was when someone, besides her, was being really smug.

* * *

It wasn't long until the sun rose and gave light to the new dawning day. Felix let out a nice sigh as he saw the Texas landscape in the early morning hours, and heard a snoring Fred right next to him. Felix never knew a dog could snore until he got old Fred. However, that was also when he found out when a dog could get the worst case of gas imaginable.

"Damn, Fred! What is Monique feeding you?" Felix asked as he rolled down his window.

As he drove along the road, he was trying to find the two people who were supposed to be running block for him. Just as he grabbed the mic of his CB, he noticed something behind a road side sign. He tried to make out what he could see, but couldn't make it out. Just as he was twenty feet from it, he saw a very familiar black Trans Am pull forward onto the road.

It wasn't long until they were in the town of Texarkana and pulled in front of their destination. The town itself was so small that ant would feel claustrophobic. Not even the word Podunk would fit this place. The Coors building itself looked like the only new thing it had received lately was a fresh coat of paint. As Shego and Ron got out, Felix parked the rig close to it. Shego scanned the place and couldn't even see any cameras.

"Big town, isn't it?" Ron asked as he followed Shego.

"No kidding. I wonder what they do for fun?" Shego asked in her usual sarcastic tone.

"They probably watch the cars rust." Felix added as he joined the two.

"Let's hurry up and get that beer before I decide to get shit faced." Shego said.

Ron pulled on the door, but it didn't move. He knocked on it and looked inside, but everything was dark.

"Damn, they're not open." Ron said to himself.

"Well, we are an hour ahead of schedule." Felix said proudly.

"Let's keep it that way. Now how about we just use the door that's already open?" Shego asked and started looking for another door.

"Which door?" Felix asked as he saw Shego kick in a side door so hard that she actually knocked it off its hinges.

"This one might due." Shego said and walked inside.

A few minutes later, the large black double doors opened with Shego standing there with a seductive smile.

"Anyone want a beer?" she asked as Ron and Felix joined her at the open door.

"It's Redneck heaven!" Felix said as he saw the sight before him.

"Now let's load it up onto the truck." Shego said as she headed to a near by fork lift with Ron following her.

"Are you sure you know how to handle one of these things?" Ron said as he stood in front of the lift.

"If I can drive one of Drakken's stupid little toys, I can drive any forkin' thing around." Shego said as she plopped her well toned butt into the leather seat and started the machine.

As Shego turned on the fork lift, she also lifted up the part of the fork lift was standing on and proceeded to drive it to the beer.

"HEY! I was only asking if you could drive it, not lift it! THE BEER! WATCH THE BEER!" Ron shouted as Shego stomped on the brake and sent Ron flying over and into several cases of beer.

"I told you no one likes a smart ass." Shego said to Ron's shoes, since they were the only things that were sticking up above the cases.

"Very funny! Very fucking funny, Shego!" Ron shouted as he heard his friend and the villainess laughing.

* * *

All three soon finished loading the truck and had it ready to go while Ron was nursing a swollen bump on his head and soon went to sit in the Trans Am.

"I think you hurt Ron's pride with that one." Felix said to Shego as he looked at his friend.

"He'll get over it." Shego said as she locked the back of the truck.

"You know, we should do something about the mess in there." Felix said as he wheeled his chair to the driver side of his rig.

"Do one better." Shego said as she pulled out a pen and a small notebook and tossed them to Felix. "Write them a note, and tell them to send the bill to Big and Little Enos Burdette." Shego said as she walked to the Trans Am, turned it on and hauled her ass out of there.

"Enos Bur-Bur, crap. B-I or is it B-U? Screw it, I got to go!" Felix said and used his chair to get back into the cab of the truck.

* * *

It sometimes looks like fate and irony have the same sense of humor. A few hours after the trio left, it seems both of these cosmic powers decided to join together as the local police force began investigating the break in, when a certain red haired, green eyed Wonder Woman came to the scene.

"Ma'am, this is a crime scene. You'll have to back away." The older cop told the young woman.

"The name's Kim Possible. I believe someone of your police force paged my web site." Kim said as she pulled out a Global Justice ID badge.

"Oh, yeah. That was me. It seems someone busted down the door and stole over four-hundred cases of Coors." The old cop told the young woman.

"Are their any security cameras?" Kim asked him.

"Employees claim it's been busted for a few weeks now. A witness did say that they saw a black Trans Am driving away from here. The license plate on it read BAND-ONE." The cop told her.

"You know, Kim, the damage seems to e recent. I deduce we can still catch up to them." Said a very nasil and annoying voice from Kim's side.

"Who's he?" the cop asked Kim.

"My cousin, Larry. Please don't ask." Kim said and activated her Kimmunicator.

She filled in Wade on what was going on and scanned the damaged door.

"Looks like Larry's right on this one. If you guys can get a car, you can probably catch them." Wade told her.

"Please and Thank You. Officer, do you have a car wecan use?" Kim asked the man.

"Sure, you can use mine. The old heap was going to be retired tomorrow anyway." He said and handed Kim the key to it.

* * *

So far it was smooth sailing down the road as they were coming close to a hundred and ten, but it was also silent. The silence was driving Shego nuts as Ron just sat there and looked out at the passing scenery. Shego was getting sick of the silent treatment, and knew she had to do something to get him to talk.

"Hey, Stoppable."

"What?" Ron asked.

"Why did you and the cheerleader break up?" Shego asked him.

"Why do you want to know?" Ron asked her.

"Ron, we have nine-hundred miles to go and the quiet act is driving me nuts. So how come you and Princess broke up?" Shego asked him.

"It's kind of dumb." Ron said, trying to avoid the subject.

"What? She wouldn't put out?" Shego asked him, earning a nasty glare from Ron.

"No, it was because of career choices. She wanted to keep saving the world, but I wanted to do something more exciting. Besides, I was the one that wouldn't put out." Ron told her.

Shego had to do her best not to slam on the brakes when she heard that piece of information from the young man. She pulled off her sunglasses and kept glancing at Ron with a dumbfounded look on her face.

"Let me get this straight. You and her didn't knock boots?" Shego asked him.

"We would talk about it, but I got too nervous. For some reason, I couldn't picture myself doing that with her." Ron told her.

"So does this mean that you're still a – you know?" Shego asked him.

"Yes, I'm still a virgin." Ron told her.

Shego just looked back at the road while she thought about what all Ron had just told her. He couldn't see himself having sex with Kim? Wow! It was also still even harder for her to believe he was this old and still a virgin.

"I just might have to fix that." Shego said to herself.

"Did you say something?" Ron asked her.

"Oh, nothing." Shego said while trying her best to put on a little angel face.

"I sound like a dork, don't I?" he asked her.

"Oh no. I heard this from two biker's the other day in prison." Shego said with a sarcastic smile.

Ron went back to looking at the passing environment when his eyes caught something that he didn't really need to see.

"Would it be of any interest to you if I just caught a Smokey taking a 10-100?"

"Yeah, it would. At least he wasn't taking a 10-200." Shego said as she soon saw a police cruiser gaining on them.

"You ready to have a little fun, Ron?" Shego asked as her sadistic smile crossed her face.

"I was born ready." Ron said as he tightened his seat belt and braced the door for dear life.

Shego hit the brakes, did an about face, and drove down a near by dirt road as fast as she could so she could kick up as much dust as possible. While she navigated down the dirt road, she mashed in the button on the console that was labeled AC.

"We've got the top down, and you want the air on?" Ron asked her.

"Nope. Smoke screen. You may not know this, but I've been on this route before." She said as she drove down the road while the cruiser behind them tried to keep up and not crash into anything in the large dust cloud.

Ron noticed that Shego kept glancing for something up ahead, but it looked like she was having a hard time finding it.

"Ron, take the wheel for a minute." Shego said as she stood up.

"What? Oh, shit!" Ron said as he grabbed the wheel and tried to keep the car on the gravel and dirt road. "What the hell are you looking for woman?" Ron shouted.

"I'm looking for something useful. There it is. Funny, I remember it being a lot bigger." Shego said as she slipped back into the seat and took the wheel.

"Could you do me a little favor and hit that radio button that's got a number two on it?" Shego asked him.

Ron looked down and hit the button like Shego said. In a second, he found themselves taking a sharp corner and almost fall off into a large lake. He didn't know how she did it, but she stayed on the road and kept roaring down the dirt road way.

"Did that button I press keep us from pond hoping?" Ron asked Shego.

"Nope. It sprayed a nice oil slick behind us." Shego said with a smile.

Ron turned around and looked behind them just in time to see the patrol cruiser hit the oil slick at top speed and go flying into the lake with a big splash.

"HOLY SHIT! THAT WAS AWSOME! I knew there was I reason I liked you." Ron said as he turned around and kept laughing.

"By the end of this trip, Monkey Boy, you'll wonder why you stayed with Kimmie and not with me." Shego said with a laugh as well.

* * *

Kim and Larry were driving down the road as fast as they could, with Kim doing her best to ignore her annoying cousin. He might be a genius with science fiction and computers, but he was an idiot with normal life.

"Thank you for taking me along cuz. I'm sure I'll be as good as Ron in the apprehension of this criminal." Larry told her.

"Larry, you're just along because our parents insisted on it. It's not my fault this happened at a family reunion. But no one will ever be like Ron. The sooner I catch this guy, the sooner I can get you home." Kim told him, making it obvious that he was getting on her nerves.

"You don't have to hide your feelings, cuz. I know you're glad I came along." Larry said, oblivious to Kim's attitude toward him.

"Dumb dork." Kim muttered to herself

Shego and Ron were cruising down the road again and looking for Felix. Ron had loosened his seat belt and managed to pry his fingers off the door and tried to relax. Shego was enjoying the sight in front of her. All that aside, she decided she had better check on Felix.

"Cyborg, you got your ears on?" Shego asked into the mic."

"_You lucky siren, you got him. Where the hell are you two?"_ Felix replied.

"We're on a two-lane black-top, Highway Marker 71. How are we doing with time?" Shego asked.

"_We're about thirty minutes ahead of schedule. Not bad for a guy in a wheelchair, if I say so myself. Come back."_ Felix said.

"I'll admit it, I'm impressed. What's your 20?" Shego asked him.

"_I'm about four miles ahead of you two snails."_ Felix said.

"We'll see about that you little,"

"_Breaker, Breaker to the Bandit." _A feminine voice said over the CB, interrupting Shego.

"That voice sounds awfully familiar." Ron said as he started to think.

"Come on back, Breaker." Shego said into the mic.

"_Bandit, I've got a big time Smokey report for you. Come back."_

"Well, talk to me good buddy." Shego responded.

"_You've got trouble coming after you."_ The voice responded.

"What's your handle and your 20?" Shego asked.

"_My handle is Wonder Woman, and I'm grabbing your tail right now."_ The voice said.

With a very puzzled look, both Ron and Shego looked behind the car to see a Texas police cruiser following close behind them.

"What the hell is a Texas County Mountie doing in Arkansas?" Shego asked as they soon caught up with Felix.

Ron took a closer look at the car behind them with the rear view mirror and tried to get a good look at the driver. When he finally could see the driver clearly he, he took a gulp of air loud enough to make himself sound like he just swallowed a bowling ball.

"What's wrong with you?" Shego asked him.

"THAT'S KIM!" Ron shouted as he continued to look at the mirror.

"Please tell me you're shitting with me!" Shego said as she took another glance and confirmed what Ron saw.

"Cyborg, you got your ears on?" Shego asked him.

"_Come on back, you lucky siren."_

"We're coming around you, over."

"_Look, be careful. You're gonna have to make your own lane, 'cause you definitely got some serious oncoming traffic." _Felix told them.

"Damn it to hell and piss up a rope." Shego cursed to herself.

"Colorful today, aren't we?" Ron asked.

"Cram it, cup cake." Shego said as she kept looking for a way around Felix's rig. She was enjoying Stoppable's company, but she could go without the jokes right now.

"There's an old saying I learned in High School that I still use to this day." Shego said.

"What's that?" Ron asked her.

"When you can't win, CHEAT!" Shego said as she drove off the road, drove past Felix while taking down a row of mailboxes, and drove back onto the black top.

"I think I just went 10-100." Ron said.

"Better than a 10-200." Shego said with a small smile.

* * *

"I can't believe that lunatic just did that!" Kim said as she watched the Bandit's little move.

"It's obviously clear that this Bandit doesn't want to get caught." Larry said.

"Shut up, Larry." Kim said as she started to drive beside the big rig using the other lane.

"Uh, cuz?" Larry asked.

"Not now, Larry." Kim said as she started coming close to the cab of the rig.

"Cuz?" Larry asked again.

"What is it?" Kim asked and looked at her nerdy cousin.

"Isn't that an F-150?" Larry asked an pointed out the windshield.

Kim looked ahead of them to see a large red pick up truck heading toward them. Kim's mind lost it's constant cool for a brief moment and accidentally swerved and hit the rig. Kim hit the brakes and went into a slide in front of the rig only to hit it broadside and pushing them off the road and into a ditch.

* * *

"_Bandit, you remember that Texas Bubblegum Machine?"_ Felix asked.

"What about it?" Shego asked.

"_That crazy son of a bitch just tried to drive right under my truck!"_ Felix told them.

"Oh crap. Having KP on our ass is bad enough, now we're going to have a pissed off KP." Ron said to himself.

"How bad?" Shego asked as her mind drifted back to when she and the cheerleader faced during Drakken's scheme using the Hephaestus Project.

"You remember the Lil' Diablo's?" Ron asked.

"Maybe." Shego answered.

"Mix that with jaws and a bull shark and multiply it by ten." Ron told her.

"Goodie. I could use some fun." Shego said with a smirk.

Ron knew this woman had to be mad. He had seen Kim determined before, even when she got embarrassed, mad, or both. But as Ron thought about it, he did realize it could be fun to see if they could out run his best friend. He couldn't help but smile along with Shego.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you." Ron said, causing Shego to do a mental double take.

"Are you flirting with me?" she asked him. Not many men had the balls to even think about flirting with her.

"What if I am?" Ron asked her, wearing only his smug grin.

Shego just smiled as she saw the amount of balls and smugness Ron was using right now.

"Careful, Stoppable. Don't write checks your butt can't cash." Shego warned him.

* * *

A very angry Kim sat in the driver seat of the cruiser while her cousin tried to stop himself from shaking.

"Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, makes me look like an idiot!" Kim said as her hands gripped the wheel tightly.

"Well cuz, there was that one time,"

"Shut your ass!" Kim said to him.

"I didn't know you cursed." Larry said with awe.

"Get me made enough and I'll put a damn sailor to shame." Kim said as she shifted the car back into gear and peeled back onto the road.

* * *

Author's Note(s): I didn't know Texarkana, Texas was dry. I've never been there, so I was taking a wild guess when I wrote the scene. I'm trying to follow the movie while also trying to figure out how to add a KP twist to it. Just because I live in Texas, doesn't mean I know what everything looks like.

10-100 - Taking a whiz. Try and guess what a 10-2oo is.


	3. Eighteen Wheels a Rollin

Sorry it took so long with this one. I've had a lot of stuff going on, not to mention a couple of other stories. But in the words of a great actor, I forget who, "Dying is easy, comedy is hard." So it might take a while before I can update again. And I'm trying to mix things up a little so it won't go exactly along with the movie. There's also a preview at the end of this story, so enjoy.

* * *

"Kim Possible, that's all I need!" Shego growled to herself as they sped ahead of Felix. 

"If Kim finds out I'm with you, she'll cut my balls off and wear them as ear rings." Ron whimpered like a whipped puppy.

"Ron, I really didn't need that picture." Shego said as she glanced in the rear view. "It looks like we lost her for now." Shego said as she put her eyes back onto the road.

"_Bandit, this is Cyborg. What's your 20, over?" _Felix asked over the CB.

"This is Bandit, we're about four miles in front of you and clearing the way. Keep an eye out for that County Mounty Bitch for us." Shego said.

"_10-4 on that, Bandit. Over and out."_ Felix said.

* * *

"COUNTY WHAT?" Kim shouted as she heard Bandit's last transmission. 

"I believe Bandit referred to you as the vulgar term for a female K-9." Larry said, showing off his cumulative knowledge.

"Stuff it, Larry!" Kim said as she picked up the CB mic.

"This is Kim Possible calling out to all police officers; I'm in pursuit of a black Trans Am with Georgia plates but have lost visual. Be advised that suspect is traveling at high speeds." Kim said.

The transmission was not ignored as it reached the ears of a near by Sheriff that had set up a three car road block to catch the car Kim was talking about.

"This is Sheriff Branford, I have the situation well in hand. Miss Possible, are you a law enforcement officer?" the man asked into the CB mic.

"_I am a Global Justice Agent."_ Kim answered.

"Agent Possible, you can break off your pursuit now. We'll have your suspect in custody in a matter of minutes." The Sheriff told her.

"_No offence, Sheriff, but I've been tailing this bastard since Texas. So if anyone is going to bust this son of a bitch's ass, it's going be me breaking my foot off in it!"_ Kim shouted, and spooking the well experienced officer.

"Remind me to keep my mouth shut when she shows up." He told the deputies.

* * *

"Okay Stoppable, time for a little more twenty questions." Shego said, getting sick and tired of the boredom that was surrounding them. 

"Why so interested?" Ron asked.

"Do I have to tell you again?" Shego asked him.

"No, there's another reason. Are you trying to find a reason to flirt with me?" Ron asked, trying to reverse roles and make Shego uncomfortable for once during the drive.

"Stoppable, just because I think you're cute doesn't mean I won't burn your ass." Shego threatened.

"Ah, but you think I'm cute!" Ron said with a grin.

"Oh, fuck me!" Shego said as she looked ahead at the road.

"Not until we start dating." Ron joked with her.

"No, I mean look ahead!" Shego told him.

As Ron glanced at the road ahead of them, the grin disappeared and was replaced by a loud gulp as they saw the road block.

"Oh no. Well, I've had fun being a guy. Too bad I'm loosing my nuts before I loose my virginity." Ron said as he thought of what Kim was going to do to him.

"Oh ye of little faith, my Monkey Boy." Shego said as she turned the nob on her radio, and the radio flipped inside the console and revealed a large green button. "You're good at pushing buttons Ron, but this is my turn." Shego told him as she pressed the gas and hit the button.

Inside the engine, a mixture of Nitrous that Dr. Drakken and Motor Ed had created boosted the car's speed with enough force that it forced Ron to sink into his seat. Ron kept thinking over and over that Shego was going to ram them head on. Ron was amazed when Shego slipped the car right through a gap that almost seemed it wasn't even big enough for a bike messenger!

"HOW THE HELL?" Ron asked as he looked at the green skinned vixen beside him.

"Trade secret's, Ron." Shego said with a smirk.

When Ron left Team Possible for more excitement, this was what he was talking about. The thrill of a chase, almost being caught and narrowing escaping. He didn't know Shego's life was so – so – FUN!

"Shego, will you marry me?" he asked with a grin.

"Like you said, not until we start dating first." Shego replied as they sped away from the police officers.

* * *

"SON OF BITCH! WHAT THE HELL ARE ALL OF YA WAITIN FOR? LET'S GO GET THEM!" Sheriff Branford shouted as he and the others gave chase, leaving one lone officer to tell Miss Possible what had happened. In a matter of moments, a very angry Kim Possible stopped beside the confused southerner. 

"Miss Possible, they actually ran right _through_ our road block!" the officer told Kim with an amazed look on his face.

"You sip shits couldn't close an umbrella!" Kim said and followed the other officers.

"That was a little rude, cuz." Larry told her.

"Larry?"

"Yeah, cuz?"

"BITE ME!" Kim shouted as she became determined to catch the asshole in the black Trans Am.

* * *

"I hope you've got some other tricks in this thing, because we've got three smokies tail grabbing our ass." Ron told her. 

"I've got one little trick. Just in case, put your head between you legs just in case you have to kiss your butt good bye." Shego told him.

Ron looked and saw the trailer of an eighteen wheeler backing up into the road.

"HOLY SHIT!" Ron shouted as Shego floored the car to its top speed and barley scrapped past the bumper of the large trailer as it blocked off the rest of the road.

The other cruisers stopped and swerved to avoid a collision with the trailer. The officers got out and started cursing at the road block in front of them. That's when they heard the load roar of an engine being pushed to its limit coming fast behind them. The officers turned to see a red headed driver of a Texas police cruiser make the turn and still gunning the gas as it rushed right toward the parked trailer.

"LARRY DUCK, OR YOU'RE GOING TO BE TALKING OUT OF YOUR ASS!"

_**CRASH!**_

The cruiser went underneath the trailer while it ripped the windows, windshield, and the rest of the car roof from the rest of its frame. The cruiser skidded as the brakes were applied. As the car stopped, a few officers and the driver walked to see what had happened and prayed they didn't have something gruesome on their hands.

That's when a very shaky, gloved hand rose and clutched the steering wheel, followed by another. Then a very pale, scared, and trembling young woman raised her hair and matted red hair from where she had ducked and looked at her surrounding with terrified eyes. As she tried to calm her nerves and her breathing, her cousin rose up like he was waking up from a nap.

"Kim, I believe that the impact might have damaged the car." Larry said as Kim instantly calmed and gave her cousin a very annoyed look.

"No shit, Larry. What was your first clue?" she asked him as she started the car and began to follow the path Bandit took.

* * *

"Are you starting to get a little hungry?" Ron asked Shego. 

"Now that you mention it, I am. But no Bueno Nacho!" Shego told him.

"Oh go ahead and spoil the fun out of a road trip." Ron said as he sulked.

Shego had to admit that it was cute when he was pouting like that. Wait, did she just think he was cute? Calm down, Shego, you're just looking for a little action. She swore that after a few months in jail that she was starting to get corporal tunnel syndrome in her hands. She smirked a little at her own joke and turned back to Ron as she grabbed the mic.

"Cyborg? Do I have your ears, son?" Shego said into the mic.

"_Talk to me you She-Devil you."_ Felix replied.

"Listen, I'm going to stop at a Choke & Puke and take a 10-100, you got me?" she asked.

"_Loud and clear! While you're there, get me a couple of hamburgers. Old Fred here is starting to look a little too thin around the gills."_ Felix told them as he rubbed the head of the seeping hound dog.

"10-4 Cyborg. Over and out." Shego said and hung up the mic. "Cheer up, Ron. I'll buy you the biggest, fattest cheeseburger the next truck stop's got." Shego told him.

"Even chili fries?" Ron asked, causing Shego to cringe at the thought of all that grease and fat.

"Even if they have chili fires, which I hope they got rid of." Shego muttered to herself as she concentrated on the road ahead.

* * *

"I haven't lost yet, and I'm not about to start now." Kim almost growled as she planted her foot to the gas pedal like it was a lead weight. 

"Uh, Cuz? Are you going to try and catch up to them?" Larry asked her.

"Of course, Larry! Why do you think this is called a high speed pursuit?" Kim asked him as she floored it.

"Well, if it isn't too much trouble, could we stop at the next gas station?" Larry asked her.

"Why?" she asked.

"I have to use the little boys room." Larry said.

"I thought I told you to go before we left!" she told him.

"I didn't have to go then, but I have to now." Larry told her.

"Then just hold it in." she told him.

"But we have to stop at a gas station." Larry said.

"Can't you hold it?" Kim asked him.

"Yes, but the car is almost out of gas." Larry said and pointed to the gas gauge.

Kim looked at the gauge and saw that it wasn't too far from ¼ marker. Kim groaned in frustration as she saw it, and was tempted to beat her head against the wheel.

"How long do you think it will be before,"

"ONE SHIT AT A TIME!" Kim shouted.

* * *

Shego sat in the cushioned stool as she tried not to get sick from the smell of all the grease in the truck stop. Ron had wolfed down a triple bacon cheeseburger and cheese fries like there was no tomorrow, and drank two extra large cokes in the span of twenty minutes. How the hell did he stay thin? Shego just had a BLT sandwich and was waiting while he went to the bathroom. She didn't care how bad she had to go; she wouldn't trust a public restroom if someone even paid her all the money in the world. 

"What's taking him so long?" Shego asked herself as she glanced at her watch and put her sunglasses back on and re-tied her pony tail. She had just paid for the burgers for Felix's dog and placed her hat back on when someone else came in. Someone Shego did not want to see right then, and kept her head down. Thank God most truck stops had piss poor lighting.

"Larry, do you need anything?" Kim called out to her cousin.

"How about a couple of hush puppies?" Larry called out.

"WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT SHIT, YOU IDIOT! Stupid nerd! I wish I still had Ron with me, at leas t he made me laugh. One Turkey Wrap and an iced tea, and hurry! I'm in a damn rush!" Kim said to the waitress as she sat right next to Shego.

"Late for a date?" Shego teased. As long as Kimmie didn't recognize her, there wasn't any harm in picking on her a little.

"I wish! I'm in pursuit of a crazed nut case! That son of a whore has caused numerous damage to public property, and almost caused the deaths of several brother officers. Me included!" Kim said as she wolfed down her wrap like Ron to a naco.

"I wonder how much of Ron rubbed off on her." Shego said to herself as she watched the wrap disappear.

"How much do I owe you?" Kim asked the waitress.

"No, let me pay for that. It's the least I can do for a respected enforcer of the law." Shego said as she whipped out a twenty and gave it to the waitress.

"At least not everyone in this world are assholes. Which way to the ladies room?" she asked Shego.

"Down the hall, pass the boar's head wearing sunglasses." Shego said and pointed to her left.

"Please and Thank You." Kim told her and walked off toward the bathroom.

"I hate the way she says that." Shego said as she grabbed the burgers and bolted outside. She had to hide the car and be damn quick!

As she ran outside, the Trans Am came to a full stop in front of her with Ron at the wheel!

"How did you,"

"Never mind, just get in. Kim's in there!" Ron said as he opened the passenger side door.

"No shit, Sherlock! I just had a little talk with her. FLOOR IT!" Shego shouted as Ron sped out of there like a bat out of hell. Kim came outside with a satisfied smile on her face as she stepped back into the car and adjusted her hair in the broken rearview, with Larry waiting patiently.

"Cuz, were the plates on the suspect's car Band-One?" Larry asked her.

"Yeah, they were. Why do you ask?" she asked him.

"Because a car with the same plates just drove away from here. Pretty weird coincidence, huh?" Larry asked her as Kim's eyes widened.

"DO WHAT? SON OF A BITCH!" Kim shouted and sped the car away from the gas pumps, ripping the gas hose in half as the nozzle fell out of the gas tank and clattered to the concrete as gas sprayed the concrete.

* * *

"You better tell me you know how to drive a car!" Shego said as she put on her seat belt. 

"Shego, you'd be surprised." Ron said as he looked in the mirror and saw a car that had a flowing mane of red hair inside of it. "I wonder what happened to her car?" Ron asked himself as he followed the road.

"Shit, we need to loose her and fast!" Shego said as she looked back and saw Kim catching up to them quickly.

"Just give me a minute to think of something." Ron said as he drove.

As the scenery passed by them, Ron caught a glimpse of a road construction sign and saw a over pass bridge that looked like it was only half complete.

"Hey Shego, you ever watch the Dukes of Hazzard?" Ron asked her.

"Movie or show?" she asked him with a little unease. Why was he asking about that right now?

"Both." Ron answered.

"Yeah, I've seen them. Why do you ask?" Shego asked him.

"Which do I look like more? Bo Duke, or Luke Duke?" Ron asked as he pressed the Nitrous button, broke through the road barriers, and went up the unfinished bridge like it was a ramp.

"RON, WHAT ARE DOING?" Shego shouted as they were launched into the air and sailed into an ark, with Shego screaming the entire way. They landed hard, but the car stayed in one piece as they quickly sped away from a very frustrated Kim as she was cursing up a storm.

"HOLY SHIT, I CAN'T BELIEVE WE DID THAT! WE MADE IT! WE ACTUALLY MADE IT! Oh Christ, what a thrill! I want a jump over the Grand Canyon, or the moon! Where did you learn how to do that?" Shego asked them as total excitement flooded her system and mind with a very wide grin on her face as she tried to catch her breath.

"You remember that exciting career I wanted?" Ron asked her.

"Yeah?"

"I'm a Hollywood stunt car driver." Ron said with a smirk as Shego's eyes and grin widened.

"Oh my God in Heaven!" Shego said with every word coming out like a moan.

"You okay, Shego?" Ron asked her, a little worried of her actions.

"I'm getting really turned on!" She said with a small laugh.

"Oh, really?" Ron asked with a sarcastic tone.

"Oh, you don't believe me?" Shego asked him.

Ron was a little curious when Shego grabbed his right hand and put it on her jeans. Ron wasn't looking, but noticed that it was rather warm and damp. That's when he also felt two thigh muscles on each side of his hand.

"Sh-Shego? W-where's my hand at?" Ron asked as it went a few octaves higher.

"Take three guesses." Shego answered with a very sly grin. Shego gave a small laugh when Ron swerved and almost went off the road as he realized what he was touching.

* * *

Kim just glared at the car for a few seconds from the unfinished bridge as she got back in the car and had to take the long way around. 

"You –you – YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Kim shouted as part of her green eyes started to turn a little red.

"Cuz, I think you might be getting a little aggravated." Larry said.

"Gee, YOU THINK?" Kim shouted as she tried to find a way to catch the black Trans Am.

* * *

PREVIEW! PREVIEW! PREVIEW! PREVIEW! PREWVIEW! PREVIEW! PREVIEW! PREVIEW! PREVIEW! PREVIEW! PREVIEW!

* * *

_From the dawn of time we came, moving silently among you down through the centuries. __Living many secret lives. _

"I've got some weird news. Jack Hench was found murdered a few hours ago!" Wade told her.

"Murdered? Wow, I guess he finally ticked off the wrong villain." Kim told him.

"Obviously. He was found decapitated." he told her.

"Eww, so don't need the details!" she told him, wincing at what she heard.

"Sorry Kim, but you do. Global Justice wants you and Ron on the case. It looks like they want to see if you're GJ material." Wade told her.

_Struggling to reach the time of The Gathering, when those of us that remain will battle to the last. _

"What the hell is going on here? Why is Global Justice sending _kids_ to a murder case?" Murphy asked his boss.

"Those are no ordinary kids, Murphy. If you remember correctly, they saved the world a couple of months ago?"

"Then why saddle them with me? You know I don't want to work with anyone!" he told him.

"Would you get over it! Besides, they're not your permanent partners. Now teach them what they need to know, and make sure we get this sicko off my streets." the man said and walked away.

"I hate it when he pulls this shit. Global Justice is worse than the fucking FBI." Richard said as he threw his toothpick on the ground.

_No one has ever known we were among you, until now._

"Y-you were dead! We saw – and you were – W-What the hell are you?" Kim asked him.

"I'm different." Richard said as he got up.

_In the end,_

_THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!_

**_Strike of a Blade_**


	4. Watch Ol' Bandit Run

Sorry for the long wait. As the old saying goes "Dying is easy, Comedy is hard. That and I've had numerous technical problems and work. But here it is, the next chapter to Eastbound and Down! Sorry for the long wait again. Enjoy.

* * *

Felix was starting to get worried about Ron and Shego. It wasn't about their past relationship, he knew Ron could handle himself perfectly well. It was the fact that with all the buzz he had been hearing about them over the CB and police scanners is that they were worse than a bunch of pissed of fire ants at a Sunday picnic when they got behind the wheel of that damn car of hers. He tried his best to keep his eyes on the road and his foot, or mechanical tentacle in his case, glued to the floor. Last thing he needed was to be pulled over by some crazy ass Smokey. That's when he heard the scanner crackle to life.

"_All units, All units. Be on the look out that suspect vehicle of The Bandit is still on the loose. Miss Possible has just lost the trail."_

"_LOST THE TRAIL MY ASS! THAT BASTARD JUMPED A BRIDGE! Lousy mother f-"_

"_Copy that, Miss Possible. All units, please be advised that suspect is traveling at high speed." _the voice of an uneasy officer said as Fred let out a hound dog bark.

"I'm with you on that, Fred." Felix said as he laughed to himself.

"_Cyborg, do you have your ears on?"_ Shego's voice came off the CB.

"About damn time. This is Cyborg, I'm about seven miles from the nearest rest stop. I've got smokies all up and down my back, so where the hell are you two?"

"_Look in your mirror, dip stick."_ Shego responded.

That's when Felix saw the black Trans Am rush by him faster than a bat out of hell and pulled right in front of him.

"Hey! Is that a blonde driver I see, or did you get a new seat cover?" Felix asked.

"_Long story. Pull in to the rest stop and I'll lay down a few lyrics." _Shego said.

"That's a new one. All right Bandit, 10-4 on that." Felix said as he followed her into the rest stop.

* * *

From the looks of things, the only thing that had been fixed was the coat of paint on the picnic tables. Felix and Ron knew not to judge a book by it's cover, but they might make an exception from the look of the building that supposedly housed the restrooms themselves. The brakes on Felix's rig let out a loud pop as it came to a stop by the sleek and some what dusty Trans Am. Even though he was married, Felix couldn't tear his eyes away from the way Shego's breasts swayed underneath that loose green tank top of hers.

"If Ron doesn't make a move, he's dumber than the gifts Fred leaves in my shoes in the morning." Felix said as he tried to keep himself from drooling. That's when he noticed a smile on Ron's face that was so wide, the Grand Canyon would have to be declared a drainage ditch.

"Ron, you okay?" Felix asked his friend.

"Hand. She - she put - hand on. Heaven." Ron said as his grin became wider.

"Looks you fried his brain." Felix said.

"No problem." Shego said as she grabbed Ron by the shirt and planted the most passionate French kiss on the young man's lips, causing his eyes to grow as big as Mars.

Felix's jaw became slack and hung open as a grin formed on his face as she pulled away from the kiss, and lightly bit Ron's lower lip.

"Wow. I can die happy now." Ron said as he fell over backwards onto the concrete sidewalk.

"Where's a camera when you need one?" Felix asked with a smile.

"Keep the testosterone in, Cyborg. How are we doing on time?" Shego asked him.

"We're starting to run behind a little, but it ain't anything big. Besides, the girl's going to need some go-go juice pretty soon." Felix said.

"I probably need to check the suspension on this baby at some point." Shego said to herself.

"After everything you two pulled over the CB?" Felix asked.

"Not the way you're thinking." Shego said with a smile.

"You're kidding. Why can't that happen to me?" Felix asked himself.

"Because of that little band on your finger?" Shego asked him as she pointed to his wedding ring.

"Oh, that." Felix said like it was a sentence to life in prison.

"What do you want me to do with these?" Shego asked as she held up the bag of burgers.

"Oh, just hand them to Ron." Felix said.

Shego tossed the bag onto Ron's chest as he still laid flat on the sidewalk with a big smile. Shego shook her head as she saw the Basset start sniffing.

"How far behind are we?" Shego asked, getting down to business.

"Just a few minutes. Nothing too bad that we can't handle. What about those smokies, though? You got them swarming like a kid kicking a hornets nest." Felix asked.

"Don't worry, I'll handle them. We need to lay low for a little bit so they can loose our trail. Especially miss hound dog." Shego said as she wiped the sweat off of her forehead.

"OW! FRED, I'LL TURN YOU INTO THE LARGEST HOTDOG FOR THAT!" Ron shouted, causing Shego to raise an eyebrow.

"Fred wanted to eat, and Ron wasn't moving. So Fred got his attention." Felix said with a smirk.

"I'm scared to ask." Shego said.

"He bit him in the crotch." Felix said as he tried not to laugh.

"Ouch. If anything's damaged, I feel sorry for that dog. Let's hit the road." Shego said as she put her sunglasses back on and dragged a whimpering Ron back into the car.

"The Star Wars simulation was fun, but now it's my turn." Shego said as she put him in the passenger seat.

"Aw man, and I was doing good." Ron said to himself.

"Don't worry, I might let you give her another feel later on." Shego said with a smirk.

"Does that mean what I think it means?" Ron asked her.

"What do you think?" Shego asked him as they sped off onto the main road, leaving a faint puff of smoke and the smell of burning rubber.

"I swear, those two were made for each other. Too bad they spent the first few years beating the crap out of each other, right Fred? Fred? Where the hell is that dog?" Felix asked himself as he rolled back to the truck.

That's when a very feminine scream came from the women's restroom of the rest stop. An old woman wearing a navy blue muumuu came running out of the restroom, screaming non stop as she made a b-line towards her car. Around her ankles was a very large pair of pink granny panties, and a very energetic basset hound playing a game of tug of war with them.

"Fred, you idiot mutt! The last thing I need to see is up that cow's dress." Felix said to himself as he made his way to his dog. That's when the woman, half way to her car, fell over face first and caused her dress to go over her head. Felix grimaced at the sight he was receiving.

"Dear Lord, let those be liver spots." Felix said while he tried not to run away screaming in terror.

* * *

"I can't believe any of this! I have never been embarrassed in all my life!" Kim said as she gripped the wheel tighter than a boa around it's prey. She hadn't heard any word about the Bandit over the CB, and this was causing her anger to rise by the second. Slowly, her face was going from a flush pink to a fire engine red. Larry still kept looking at the road in front, and sometimes leaned a little over the side to get a glimpse of the passing concrete. It was so tempting to give her a cousin one swift kick or push while he was leaning. She didn't though. She was too much of a nice person. Of course, a lot of that would be gone when she finally got ahold of the Bandit and broke his neck.

"You know cuz, from what I have been observing of the road and of the condition of our car, I believe we should proceed at a slower speed." Larry told her.

"Larry, we are in a pursuit. The Bandit is going at least close to, or right at, one-hundred miles per hour. The last thing I want to do right now is go so slow that a fart out of your ass would look like it's winning the Daytona 500." Kim told him through gritted teeth.

"I was merely saying that because of road conditions,"

"Larry, if I want advise form you, then I will ask. Until then, SHUT UP AND KEEP YOUR ASS GLUED TO THAT SEAT!" Kim shouted.

Kim was greeted with the blissful sounds of silence as she felt the cold breeze blow through her mane of red hair. The perfect way to be driving, with Larry not talking at all. Kim's bliss was soon interrupted when the car dipped to the left suddenly and forcefully bounced back onto the road. Kim groaned as she regained her composure from the sudden jolt, but let out a groan of frustration as she heard a loud rattling behind them.

"Please don't tell me." Kim said to herself as she looked into the rear view mirror.

The sight she was rewarded with was that of numerous sparks coming out of the back of the car. Larry took one glance and sat back in his seat as he pushed his glasses closer to his face.

"It would appear that the sudden impact we sustained from the pot hole has caused the muffler to fall from it's intended spot underneath the vehicle." Larry said to Kim.

"Gee, you think? Thanks for pointing that out Sir Know-It-All!" Kim said sarcastically.

"I tried to tell you earlier about the numerous pot holes we had already encountered." Larry told her.

"If you knew about the pot holes, then _why_ didn't you tell me?" Kim asked him in a voice that almost sounded more like a growl.

"You told me to be quiet." Larry told her simply.

"No one likes a smart ass, Larry. Now I've got to find a garage to stop at." Kim growled to herself as she took the nearest exit.

* * *

"Looking good, Bandit. Suspension's okay from here. If you ask me, I think she could take on the Death Star." the mechanic said as he wiped his hands on a shop towel.

"That's good to know. She's going to have to get me though more shit then I want to think about right now. How much?" Shego asked as she pulled out a wallet.

"Hey, it's on me. We don't get this kind of stuff everyday. I'm even buying you a free tank of gas. Supreme!" the young man said as he walked to the gas pump the car was parked next to.

"With these prices? Shit, are you related to Donald Trump?" Shego asked, earning a laugh from the attendant.

"Hey, I thought you were flirting with me!" Ron said while he sat in the car and downed a bottle of water, acting offended.

"What's wrong, getting a little jealous?" Shego asked while leaning down enough for Ron to get a good look down the tank top.

As soon as Ron glanced at Shego, he started inhaling the water like it was oxygen as his eyes grew large.

"Can't get enough of these mountains, can ya?" Shego asked with a smirk.

Ron forcefully moved his head to where he was looking at the dash, and removed the bottle as the plastic caved inside itself from Ron trying to vacuum out every last little bit of water. Shego glanced down and immediately had a grin that would make the big bad wolf jealous.

"I guess you are falling for my feminine charms." Shego said as she stood back up.

Ron glanced down confused and let out a groan that sounded more like a bull moose during mating season.

"My own body betrays me! How could you, little buddy?" Ron asked his crotch.

Shego was about to laugh at Ron's comment when she heard an annoying voice over the CB.

"_Kim Possible to the Bandit."_ the voice crackled.

"This is the Bandit, what can I do for you miss priss?" Shego asked.

"_I just wanted to let you know that despite all your clever little tricks, I'm still going to be the one to slam your ass in a cell that not even a dog catcher would use for a rabid mutt!"_ Kim said.

"That reminds me. What the hell did I do to you to make you hate me?" Shego asked.

"_What did you do? WHAT DID YOU DO?" _Kim demanded.

That's when Ron noticed that last scream sounded clearer than it was supposed to. Ron slowly turner around and let out a small whimper as he saw a very pissed Kim screaming into a CB mic while her car was on a lift in the garage. Ron quickly looked forward again and covered his crotch. He wasn't scared that Kim would cut them off. He knew her too well and knew she wouldn't do anything like that. She would rip them off from his body in one swift yank.

"Little Princess, do the words F and O mean anything to you?" Shego said with a smile as she hopped back into the driver's seat. That's when she also noticed Ron's look and where his hands were. "Okay, having a boner because of me isn't that bad." she told him.

Ron just slowly lifted one hand and pointed to the garage. Shego glanced over the top of her sunglasses and took a slight gulp. That's when her grin reappeared as she looked at Ron and twitched her eye brows like Groucho Marks.

"I know that look." Ron said and smiled. "What do you have in mind?" Ron asked her.

"Just a little nervous breakdown for the cheerleader." Shego said as she started the car and revved the engine.

* * *

Kim was sitting in the car along with Larry, and listening to his snoring that sounded worst than the rockets at the space center. She knew she should have gotten out of the car, but she didn't trust leaving Larry alone in a car. Nerd or not, you don't leave a hormone driven guy in a car with the keys in the ignition. That's she looked outside when she heard an engine start up like it was in a race. She saw the black sports car peel out and spin to a stop with the back end facing in Kim's direction.

"Stupid redneck." Kim said to herself.

That's when she saw both the driver and passenger stand up, and pull their pants and underwear down and give Kim the full moon! Kim was shocked at the sight, but then she glanced at the license plate to get the number. She started sputtering like a speed boat when she saw it was the bandit's car.

"That - lousy, redneck - Mother Fu- YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Kim said as she started her car as the Bandit peeled out of the gas station and slammed her foot onto the gas pedal.

The car launched itself off the platform like a rocket, with the still loose muffler hooked onto part of it and ripping it completely off the car. The car itself flew through the air before it hit the concrete, destroying the shocks, and plowing into the side of a brand new Mercedes Benz. Larry flew out of the car like a rag doll, over the gas pumps, and into the lap of a beautiful women in a red convertible that could have given Carmen Electra a run for her money.

"Cuz? What happened?" a drowsy Larry asked as he woke from his sleep.

"Shut up and get your ass back in the car." Kim said as she covered her face with one of her hands in embarrassment.

"Do I have to?" Larry asked as he looked at the beautiful brunette that was only in a violet bikini top and a pair of white short shorts.

"And I thought I left losers like these back in Middleton." the brunette said to herself.

"Oh no, not Bonnie Rockwaller!" Kim said to herself.

* * *

Felix was looking in his mirrors, making sure the police weren't on his ass. As he looked, he could steel see the taser wires on the side of his rig as they floated in the wind. Thank God that old woman had bad aim. He just glared at his dog that was chewing on what was left of a pink pair of Granny panties.

"That's the last time I ever take you on a road trip." Felix said to the hound dog as he saw a near by truck stop.

"Bandit, this is the Cyborg. Come in you She-Devil." Felix said.

"_Bandit here, what can I do you for?" _Shego asked him.

"I'm going to stop and get some go-go juice and shove some groceries down my neck. That okay with you two?" Cyborg asked.

"_Sure thing. Let us know when your back on the road."_ Shego said.

"You got it. Over and out." Felix said as he pulled into the parking lot and noticed a fleet of vintage Harley's that looked brand new.

"Please just let it be an episode of Biker Build-Off." Felix said to himself as an attendant came out and started to gas him up while he and Fred went inside.

Inside was a nice little dinner that looked like it got his with the reunion of Deliverance and Rebel Without A Cause. Felix wheeled up to the counter where a beautiful waitress greeted him with a smile.

"Long time and no see Felix. What brings you up here?" the waitress asked him.

"Just another run." Felix said as his chair raised him even with the bar.

"And how's all that beer doing?" the waitress asked him.

"I should have known. I'll take my usual, and can I use the phone? I'm starting to get tired of that little radio in the truck." Felix said.

"Sure honey. One Crying Cow on the Farm!" the waitress shouted into the kitchen as she brought a cordless phone to Felix.

"Thanks, Hon. Fred, don't start anything." Felix said as the dog gave him a puppy dog pout. "Don't give me that. Remember what happened at the last stop we made?" Felix asked him and punched in his home number.

* * *

"So what are we going to do for the next couple of minutes?" Ron asked Shego.

"There's a nice little park not too far from here. I go there to think and relax whenever I get a chance. When Felix gets back on the road, we'll head off again." Shego said as they stopped at a railroad crossing as a large train was passing by. Shego looked in the direction it came from and saw it wouldn't take too long.

"Oh man, I feel sorry for them." Ron said.

Shego glanced over to Ron's side and saw a funeral was in the process. She figured he meant the train going by while they were trying to pay their last respects. That's when she noticed a lot of them were wearing bandannas around their heads that were the same color, and a lot of them had the same tattoos.

"Oh shit. Ron, don't say anything right now. Those are gang bangers, and they'll kick our ass if we say anything they think is disrespectful." Shego told him.

"How do you know?" Ron asked her.

"Because I've had a run-in with these guys before." Shego said as she looked in her mirror and gulped.

The car looked worst than before, but it was the police cruiser from the gas station. And in it was a very angry Kim Possible with a vicious smile on her face. She had finally caught up to them, and the train was still going!

"Shego?" Ron asked as he looked into the mirror.

"I see her. We need a distraction long enough for that train to go by." Shego said as she tried to think.

Ron then had an idea. He knew Kim could handle herself and it was mean, but it was the only thing he could think of.

"Sorry, KP." Ron whispered as he cleared his throat and gave his best impersonation of Larry. "HEY CUZ, WHEN SHOULD WE COME BACK AND TAKE THE WATCH AND JEWELRY OFF THE CORPSE?" Ron asked loudly, causing the people at the funeral to look up and start mumbling.

Shego caught on real quick and did her best impersonation of Kim to add insult to injury.

"I DON'T KNOW, LARRY. WHAT ABOUT THE DEAL WITH THE MEDICAL COLLEGE FOR HIS DICK?" Shego shouted.

"Floor it!" Ron shouted as soon as the train was gone.

Shego hit the gas and plowed through the wooden barriers and and off down a side street while a fuming and purple face Kim glared at them.

"Oh no he didn't!" Kim growled.

"Cuz, why are all those people pulling out automatic weapons?" Larry asked.

Kim glanced over by Larry and saw the mob approaching.

"OH SHIT!" Kim screamed and floored the sputtering car as fast as it could away from the crowd that was opening fire at them. "When I find that bastard, I'm going to seriously kick his ass!" Kim growled to herself as they tried to find a place to hide.

* * *

Soon, Ron and Shego were parking by a very shaded spot under a pine tree in the beautiful State Park Shego had mentioned. Ron and Shego got out and started to move around to get the blood pumping.

"How did you find this place?" Ron asked her as they started to walk along a near by hiking trail.

"Before I became miss meteor woman, my family was normal. This is where we used to come camping now and then. I have so many great memories here." Shego said as she started to remember things from her past.

"What things did you do here?" Ron asked her, wanting to know more about his new partner in crime.

""Not that much. One time, I pushed Mego into the lake after we had seen that movie Piranha. He was so sure the lake was full of them that he was too scared to even look at the lake." Shego said with a smile.

"Now that was mean." Ron told her.

"Ron, I am mean. Look at me. What do you see at first glance?" Shego asked him.

"Honestly, I see a very beautiful woman." Ron told her.

"Huh?" Shego asked him, not expecting that answer.

"I see a very beautiful woman that I can't believe I'm with right now." Ron told her.

"Wow. Um, thanks." Shego said, dumb founded by what Ron had said.

"What else do you remember?" Ron asked, trying to make her feel more comfortable.

"Well, right here at the bridge," Shego said as the came to a wooden bridge that went over a nice little creek. "Me and my first boyfriend spent hours talking here. Then the day before we left for home, I screwed his brains out underneath that big old pine tree." she told Ron.

"R-really?" Ron asked her.

"Yup. It was the off season, so there wasn't anyone else around. Even though it was my first time and his, that was one of the most beautiful moments I can remember." she said with a sad smile.

"You two broke up?" he asked her.

"Well, when you get green skin and meteor powers, guys get turned off while looking at you." Shego said.

"I don't. I think it's hot." Ron told her, then slapped himself in the forehead for letting that slip.

"Wait, you think I'm hot?" she asked him.

"Well, yeah. It's not just the tits or that great looking ass. I don't know, I've always found you so incredibly hot. Now I'll quit sticking my foot in my mouth." Ron said as Shego looked at him with amazement.

She let out a small laugh and a smile as they continued walking.

"What about you? You ever go camping?" Shego asked him.

"I went to camp once, but you wouldn't want to hear it." Ron said.

"Hey, you listened to me and actuallysaid something nice aboutme. So it's only fair." Shego told him.

"Okay. When I was six, I was sent to Camp Wannaweep. My parents told me it's a great experience and I would have fun. Only to find out that the lake was polluted with toxic sludge, most of the squirrels had rabies, and I spent my whole time there bunking with the deranged mascot. A crazy ass chimp." Ron said as he shivered when he thought of that damn dirty ape.

"That explains the monkey phobia. Stoppable, I need to ask you something. Why do you have a crush on me?" she asked him.

"Crush? What? No! I-I don't - is it that obvious?" Ron asked her.

"Oh yeah." she said.

"I don't know. I know you're a bad guy and mean, and always trying to beat me and Kim up and all. But there's just something about you. Your take charge attitude and how you don't take any crap from no one. You see, I'm attracted to the person and not the looks. And with you, there's just something about you Shego that drives me wild. Like the urge to kiss you." Ron said as he looked into her jade eyes. "I know I must sound like an idot or a jerk so,"

Before Ron could say anything, Shego kissed him full on the lips. Ron was shocked at first, but then melted into the kiss as he took control. It wasn't a battle for passion or dominance, just a kiss that showed true feeling to the other person. They slowly broke the kiss, and looked into each other's eyes.

"I wanted to do that for so long." Ron whispered to her, causing her to smile.

"Ron, I'd like to make a new memory with you right now." Shego said as she kissed him again and they slowly slid to the ground in each other's embrace.

"Oh wow! I never knew it could feel so good!" Ron said.

"Ron, that's just my hand." Shego told him.

"Oh my God, give me the strength!" Ron said as he felt Shego's embrace.


	5. Never Mind Them Brakes

Well, here it is. I finally updated Eastbound and Down. Sorry it took so long, but life has been kicking me in the ass lately. But, I'm still working on the others and I hope I'll have an update for my Avatar story soon. So enjoy this update, and I'll try to get the next update written as fast as I can.

* * *

"Now Monique, I'm not going to blow this! Monique? Monique, if you don't shut up, then I'm going to loose the money. Love ya too. Bye." Felix said as he hung the phone up. "Woman can go a mile a minute." Felix said to himself.

"Don't worry honey, I've heard worse horror stories." The waitress said as she gave him a bag filled with the food he ordered.

"Okay Fred, it time to – Fred? Oh Christ, not again." Felix said to himself.

"HEY, NO LEGS!" a gruff voice asked behind him.

"Here we go." Felix said to himself as he turned to face the owner of the voice.

He saw about four grunge covered bikers standing behind Felix. With Felix sitting in his wheelchair, it looked like Frodo Baggins going up against four giant trolls.

"Can I help you gentlemen with something?" Felix asked. _"Like giving you a bar of soap?"_ he thought.

"Is this your mutt?" one with a thick beard asked him, holding a whining basset by the scruff of his neck.

"Yes that is, and would you quit holding him like that? That's hurting him." Felix asked him.

"I don't give a flying shit! Your damn dog just bit me." He said.

"Now I doubt that." Felix said.

"Listen buddy, I don't care if you're in a wheel chair."

"Yeah! It's bad enough they get the cripple stools in the bathrooms!" another biker with sunglasses said.

"Cripple stools?" another asked.

"You know. Them toilets with all room for stretchin? And they got them hand rails when you really got to,"

"WE GET IT! Listen buddy, your damn mutt bit me. And I wanna know what you're going to do about it." The biker with the beard said.

"Well Mr. Wide Ass, it's like I said. Old Fred couldn't have bitten you, because he hates the taste of grease." Felix said as he activated a neural control on his chair, and four metal tentacles emerged from the back of his chair.

One arm grabbed the biker with the beard, making him let go of Fred, and threw him into the kitchen. The man landed on a hot stove, burning his face and hands. Two other arms grabbed two more bikers, and flung them into the bathroom. A loud crash echoed as three women came out screaming.

"I told you the cripple stool was the Cadillac of the poop stools!" one biker said.

"Will you shut up about that?" his friend, who was now stuck in a sink, asked him.

The last biker was screaming like a girl as he turned and ran, only for two mechanical arms to grab his feet and caused him to hit the floor face first. He clawed at the floor, screaming his lungs out as the arms dragged him backwards. The last thing he knew was when he was thrown out of the window and into the flower bushes outside.

Felix turned to the other gathered bikers, mechanical arms spread and ready for action. He just glared at all of them, waiting for one of them to try something.

"Any one of you fuckers want to try and take me on?" Felix asked them.

All the bikers went back to their meals and their previous conversations. Felix took his food, his dog, and went back out to his rig. Felix was relieved when he saw that it was full. As he started the engine, he saw all the biker's hog's lined up in a row. All were in perfect condition, well taken care of, and must have cost a fortune in their present state.

"If we do this, Fred, we get a whoopin." Flex said to the dog. Fred merely barked in response. "Yeah, we do it." Felix said as he put the truck in gear and ran over every single hog the biker's had parked.

* * *

Ron and Shego sat in the car, holding each other in a warm embrace. Both had a satisfied smile on their face as they caressed each other's naked flesh.

"Wow! That was just – WOW!" Ron said to himself.

"Why, thank you." Shego said as she sat on his lap again. "How does it feel to be a man?" she asked him.

"What do you think?" Ron asked her as his grin grew wider.

"Again? My God Stoppable, I'm going to have to keep you around permanently." Shego said as her own smirk grew.

"Is that a promise?" Ron asked her as she began to slowly move her hips.

"What do you think?" she asked as she leaned in and kissed him again.

"_Cyborg to Bandit, Cyborg to Bandit. Can you hear me, son?" _Felix asked over the CB.

"Remind me to kill him later." Ron said.

"Not if I get to him first. This is the Bandit, Cyborg, and this better be good." Shego responded into the mic.

"_I've got my wheels rollin' again, and I need you to keep them smokies of my back."_ Felix said.

"10-4 on that. We'll have your back in a minute, over and out." Shego said.

"I hate mood killers." Ron said to her.

"Don't worry. I'll ride you so hard that after we're done, you'll think you'll swear you were born with a broken pelvis." Shego said with a smirk.

"Can't we do that now?" Ron whined.

"Sorry, not yet." Shego said as she got out of the car and began looking for her clothes.

"You're mean!" Ron said with a fake pout.

"You're just figuring that out now?" she asked him.

* * *

"Kim, they're still chasing us!" Larry said as two more bullets whizzed by his head.

"Tell me something I don't know!" Kim shouted as she checked her rear view mirror, only for a bullet to shatter the reflective glass.

"Kim, there's a shotgun under the seat. Shouldn't we use it?" Larry asked her.

"Larry, I hate guns. I have never used a real gun, I've never even thought about using a gun. And as far as I'm concerned, I'm never going to use a gun!" Kim shouted at her cousin.

That's when another loud shot echoed loudly, and shot through the dash board. Kim's eyes squinted shut for a second, and was rewarded with a horrific sight. Part of her flowing red mane was now uneven with the rest of her long hair. And on her knee was a very long, and wide, strand of silky red hair. As Kim grasped it and held it to her face, Larry would have sworn her jade eyes were turning a deep fire red.

"My hair. My hair! He shot my hair!" Kim said as she slammed the breaks to the beaten up automobile, and spun it to face the chasing gang members.

She grabbed the shot gun and box of ammo from under the seat, loaded it the weapon, and cocked it.

"**That son of a bitch! Larry, take the wheel."** Kim said, her voice almost sounding like Rambo.

Larry slid over until his left foot was over the gas, and his hand firmly grasped the wheel. With Kim's signal, he pressed his foot onto the gas, and they began to drive forward. Not even bothering to aim, Kim just pointed and fired. The first shot took out the left front tire of the first car, causing it to swerve off the road. The second shot put a hole through the grill of the second car and take out the radiator. Another shot took out the head light, and one more took out the right front tire. Unlike the first car, the driver of the second car kept driving straight toward their car.

"Kim?" Larry asked uneasily.

"Drive right beside him, dork!" Kim shouted to him.

One gang banger stood up through the sun roof of the car, trying to load a clip into his pistol as they drove.

"Smile you son of a bitch!" Kim said as Larry maneuvered the car to the side, and both cars struck each other's side while Kim turned the shot gun upside down, and clubbed the gang banger across the face with it.

The force of the impact caused the gang banger to slump against the car, loosing his footing and completely fall out of the car. The car kept going as the wounded banger stood up, looked as Larry spun the car around and Kim taking aim.

"Ah, snap! Hey you bastards! Wait for me!" he shouted as he began to give chase after his fellow bangers.

"Well, I think you got even." Larry said.

"Not yet, I haven't." Kin growled as she cocked the gun, aimed, and shot the running gang banger's ass.

Larry just grimaced as he heard the man scream in pain and began to run faster.

"Nobody messes with my hair." Kim said as she ejected the empty shell from the gun.

"C-can we leave now?" Larry asked her.

"Sure. Move over, dork." Kim said as she sat back into the driver's seat.

Kim tossed the shot gun into the back seat, causing to go off blowing out the rear left blinker.

"When it rains, it pours." Kim said as she began driving back don the road.

* * *

The black car sped down the road, with Ron actually in the driver seat. Shego just sat back with her feet on the dash, enjoying a long drag on a cigarette.

"You know, those cancer sticks will kill you." Ron told her.

"Ron, with the exception of the flu and head colds, my body is the ultimate cure for everything. From cancer to aids, I can smoke as many as these things as I want." Shego told him.

"Immune to everything, huh?" Ron asked her.

"Down boy. You know I wish I could have found my underwear. I paid twenty dollars for that thong." Shego said.

"I know where it is." Ron said.

"You do? Where is it?" she asked him.

"I'm wearing it." Ron said with a sly grin.

"Why are you wearing my thong?" she asked him with a raised eye brow.

"I always wondered why girls liked to wear them. Honestly, how can you stand the string up your butt?" Ron asked as he shifted in his seat.

"It's an acquired taste. But you can keep them, I'll just buy another pair. " Shego said with a laugh.

"Are you sure they'll be coming this way, sheriff?" the young rookie asked.

* * *

"Listen you damn twit. Dispatch said Highway patrol saw them coming this way, so here's where we're stopping them. Damn stupid rookie." The old sheriff said as he crouched behind his patrol car.

"I told you not to make him mad." The other rookie said.

"That old coot was born mad." His partner replied.

* * *

"Ron, can I ask you something?" Shego asked.

"Fire away." Ron said.

"What do you say about a trip to Vegas after this is over?" Shego asked him.

"Holy shit." Ron said.

"Don't tell me that you've never been to Las Vegas?" Shego asked him.

"No, I mean Holy Shit as in look ahead of us." Ron said as he stopped the car.

Ahead of them were two police cars forming a road block with three police officers squatting behind the cars with their guns drawn.

"It's 106 miles to Georgia, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, we're horny, and we're wearing sunglasses." Ron said as he and Shego slipped on their shades.

"Hit it." Shego said as Ron floored it.

"Um, Sheriff?" the rookie asked in a shaky voice. "Are they doing what I think they're doing?"

"Oh shit. THEY'RE GONNA RAM US!" the old sheriff shouted.

The two rookies ducked to the side while the sheriff crawled into his car and tried to get it to start. The old man looked out his window and saw the black sports car getting closer by the second. He covered his face with his arms as he emitted a girlie scream when it looked like the car was going hit him. That's when Shego flipped a dashboard switch, and the car jumped over the two cars and landed with a hard thud back onto the pavement.

The old man let out a deep sigh of relief as the car sped off. That's when the two rookies looked up and saw the car getting away. The crawled back into their cruiser, started the car, and backed into the back end of the sheriff's cruiser and knocked him into the water filled ditch.

"I didn't do it!" the driver shouted.

"What do you mean, 'you didn't do it?' You're the one driving!"

"No I ain't!"

"WILL TWO DIPSHITS SHUT UP AND GET ME OUT OF HERE?!" the old sheriff screamed as he saw a perch swim by his feet.

* * *

Felix was cruising along fine, humming to a Rush song on a radio while old Fred was asleep in the seat.

"Get your rest, Fred. It looks like its smooth sailing from here on out." Felix said with a smile as he traveled down the empty highway.

As Felix cranked up the volume, he heard a weird sound in the song. As he paid more attention to it, he turned down the volume to try and make the sound go away, but he found out it wasn't coming from the song. He glanced into his rearview and saw a motorcycle cop following him with his siren going off.

"Oh, shit on a shingle! Cyborg to Bandit!"

"_This is Bandit, what's on your mind Tin Butt?"_ Shego asked over the radio.

"Where the hell are you two? I've got a smokie trying to crawl up my ass!" Felix said.

"_We're on our way techno geek."_ Shego said as Felix started to pull over.

Felix was crossing his heart, even though he wasn't catholic, and prayed to God that Ron and Shego would get there soon. As he checked the rear view again, he saw that guy looked like one of those eating nails for breakfast types.

"License and manifest." The officer said.

"Sure. Can I ask what the trouble is?" Felix asked him.

"You were going eighty in a sixty mile per hour zone." The officer said.

"Is that right? Damn gauge. I knew I should have got it checked." Felix said.

That's when he heard the familiar engine roar and let a broad smile cross his face. The black sedan quickly came to a stop in front of the large truck, and Felix let out a huge laugh as he saw Shego stand, and lift her tank top to give the police officer quite a show to see.

"You want it, come and get it piggy." Shego said as she slipped back into the passenger seat as Ron floored it.

Felix just watched as they sped off while the police officer forgot about Felix as he cursed and got back on his bike.

"How does Ron do it? First he had Kim, now he has a women that should be plastered on an issue of playboy. How does he do it? At least it should be smooth sailing now, Fred." Felix said as he started up the rig and began driving. Fred only gave out a long howl. "Ah, who asked you?" Felix replied.

* * *

"It looks like there has been some kind of accident, Cuz." Larry said as they came to a wrecker trying to fish out a police cruiser from a ditch.

"We might as well see who's responsible. But I've already got a bad feeling about who did it." Kim said as she stopped the car, and heard it give off a loud bang from where the muffler used to be.

As Kim and Larry talked to the police officers, a tow truck driver was driving down the road in a miserable mood. This wasn't the way he had seen his life. He could have been something greater than this, but no. Here he was, driving a tow truck in the middle of Hickville, USA. As he saw the gathered cars up ahead, he thought he recognized one of them. It couldn't be, but it was! The red hair, the clothes, it was her! He had a dark smile as he decided to teach this bitch a lesson.

"BONZAI!" he screamed as he poured on the speed.

"It doesn't surprise me at all. We've been following him since, - OH SHIT!" Kim shouted as they saw what she was screaming at.

Everyone ducked for cover as the tow truck driver rammed Kim's car and tore off the driver side door, laughing like a madman the entire time.

"YOU NO GOOD SON OF A WHORE BITCH! I'M GOING TO AREEST YOUR ASS FOR THAT, AND I'VE GOT PLENTY OF EVIDENCE TOO! Put the door in the car Larry."

"What Cuz?"

"PUT THE DAMN DOOR IN THE FUCKING CAR! I'M GONNA BARBACUE YOUR ASS IN FUCKING DIABLO SAUCE FOR THIS!" Kim screamed, causing all the other people to look at her with astonishment.

"KIM POSSIBLE, YOU THINK YOU'RE ALL THAT? BUT YOU'RE-"

_**CRASH!**_

"OW!" the tow truck driver screamed.

Kim and a few other officers rushed to the tow truck that had rammed into a tall tree that was on the side of the road. As Kim looked in, a small smile crossed her lips as she saw who the driver was.

"Well, well, well. Dr. Drakken, I presume?" Kim asked as she saw the familiar blue skinned man in a daze.

"Ah, snap." The blue villain said as one of the officers pulled him out and slapped a pair of cuffs on him.

Kim was actually smiling as she made her way back to the dilapidated cruiser. It was short lived as soon as she saw her cousin Larry sitting in the passenger's seat while he was holding the damaged driver's side door.

"Larry, you idiot. Put it in the backseat." Kim told him.

Kim just shook her head as he dumped it in the back with a loud thud.

"Larry, there is just no way, _no way_, we come from the same gene pool. When we get back, the first thing I'm gonna do is punch your momma in the mouth." Kim said.


	6. We Gonna do What They Say can't be Done

Hello to one and all out there. I know you've been waiting for this, and I've had a hard time getting it ready for all of you. Through Technical problems and writer's blocks, I've finally got the next chapter to Eastbound and Down out to the masses. I'm sad to say that this is indeed the last chapter, one of the reasons it took me so long to write.

Now for compensation, I've added a few previews to stories I'm planning on writing. I hope you've enjoyed this story as much as I've hated writing it. Just kidding. Thank you for the reviews and good luck to your stories too.

* * *

"Is he still following us?" Ron asked as he sped down the highway, his foot hitting the accelerator as hard as he could. 

"Yup. I'll tell you one thing, this pig is persistent. Know any more tricks to get rid of this guy?" Shego asked as she glanced behind themselves.

Ron had to think of something fast. They've come too far now to loose. That's when he saw that the road ahead inclined into an overpass that doubled as a blind curve, but no safety railing.

"Shego, do you think pigs can fly?" Ron said as he put on more speed.

"I think you're planning something crazy again." Shego said as a grin began to form.

"What makes you say that?" Ron asked her with a grin of his own.

"Because my pants are starting to get damp again." Shego said with a cheesier cat smile.

"Oh, baby!" Ron said and made the car go to its top speed, with the motorcycle cop matching.

Ron kept his eyes glued to the road and to the overpass. They were almost there, and he had to time this just right. A few feet from it now. Before the road began to rise into the incline, Ron did a hard U turn off the side of the road, and both Shego and he watched as the biker cop sped by them and hit the incline. The officer couldn't see the turn in time, and launched into the air like Robbie Knievel during one of his jumps.

For a moment, it almost seemed that the cop was suspended in mid air; just like the way you saw in so many of the old cartoons. That's when gravity reclaimed the flying officer as he crashed landed into the back of a truck from a local farm that was hauling a load of manure.

"Holy Crap." Ron said as they heard the officer cry in disgust.

"Talk about a shitty landing." Shego said, causing both her and Ron laugh so hard they were almost shedding tears. "Let's make sure Felix hasn't gotten himself into anymore trouble." The pale thief said as Ron headed back the way they came.

* * *

Kim was still going as fast as she could down the road, trying to figure out where the hell the Bandit was now. She was now obsessed with finding that rat bastard and making sure he rots behind bars for the rest of his natural life for all the crap he's pulled. Her hand prints were now permanently molded into the steering wheel from her grip, and her teeth were clenched s tight that a few ere close to cracking. 

She let out a very agitated groan when she heard the wail of a siren behind her. She looked into what was left of her mirrors and saw that the driver of the police cruiser was signaling for her to pull over. She knew she was loosing time, but knew explaining her situation might help. Maybe even earn her some more help. She pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police officer to maker their way to her.

The look of disbelief on the officer's face was priceless as he looked at the heap in front of him that was barley keeping itself together.

"Hello officer. My name is Kim,"

"I don't give a rat's ass if you're name is Gill Grissom. Don't you know you're not supposed to drive a piece of shit like this on the highway?" the officer asked her.

"I'll thank you to not use that kind of language in front of me, sir."

"Never mind that bullshit. Hat the hell is this?" the officer asked as he pointed to the car.

"This is evidence, officer." Kim answered.

"Evidence? I don't give a flying fuck what it is. You can not drive this piece of shit on the highway." The officer told her.

"I am being polite when I ask you to please not use that kind of language. I have my young cousin in the car, and I don't want him to hear that kind of filthy language." Kim said as her grip o the wheel tightened.

"I'm telling you one more damn time,"

"**HOLD IT! HOLD IT!**" Kim screamed as she got out of the car.

"Now you listen to me you pimple faced, c$k sucking, piece of shit! Don't you dare raise your voice or talk like that to me ever again! Do you know who the hell I am? I am Kim Possible! This automobile is key evidence to lock up a fucking psycho that is responsible for the breaking of several traffic and highway safety laws, fleeing arrest, and the attempted murder and injury of at least twenty or more fellow Law Enforcement officers. I have been pursuing this bastard for the last 700 fucking miles. So the last thing I need is SOME LITTLE PISS ANT PRICK WHO'S BALLS HAVEN'T DROPPED YET, TRYING TO TELL ME HOW TO DO MY DAMN JOB AFTER I HAVE SAVED NOT JUST THIS NATION, BUT THE WHOLE SHITTY FUCKING WORLD, SO MANY TIMES THAT I'VE LOST FUCKING COUNT!" Kim screamed as ever single vein and artery in her neck bulged and her eyes almost turning blood red.

"I-I'm sorry, ma'am. I-I didn't know. I apologize for using such profanity." The officer said meekly as Kim sat back in the car.

"Apology accepted, officer. Now fuck off." Kim said as she drove off, leaving the officer shaking in his boots.

"What's the radio saying Larry?" Kim asked as she floored the beat up police cruiser.

"I'm not sure, but I think it said an officer few into a manure truck." Her cousin said.

"Do what?" Kim asked in disbelief.

"Manure is another term for,"

"I know what it is Larry! You keep proving you've got a pile of it for brains." Kim growled to herself. "He's close, I just know it. I can smell the bastard.

"Cuz, I believe that is highly,"

"Two choices Larry. You can shut up, or you can see if someone survives being thrown from a moving car." Kim said.

"_All units, all units. Suspect, the Bandit, was last heading Eastbound. He should be hitting the interstate anytime now."_ An officer said.

"And we're on the Interstate. Oh, I can't wait to arrest that bastard. I'll shove his license plates so far down his throat, I'll have to take off his shoes to ring his neck." Kim said with sadistic glee.

"Kim, I'm starting to think that this pursuit might be affecting in a small way." Larry said.

"God, would it be murder or charity if I ran my cousin over?" she asked herself.

* * *

"So did I do good?" Ron asked the woman next to him. 

"Not bad, Stoppable. It could have been better, but not bad for a beginner." Shego said with a smirk.

"Beginner? Beginner my ass, I was foiling your schemes since I was a freshman in High School." Ron said.

"One, those were Drakken's stupid ideas. And two, you were the distraction, Kimmie was the one that did the foiling." Shego said.

"Oh go ahead and spoil my fun." Ron mock pouted.

"Well, I'm about to spoil more of it. We got two smokies on our tail." Shego told him as she glanced in the rear view.

"Not again." Ron moaned.

"Any more ideas on how to lose them?" Shego asked.

"Not at the moment." Ron told her.

"Then it looks like its time for us to switch seats." Shego said.

"Sure, Shego. They're going to stop chasing us for a minute so we can switch seats." Ron said sarcastically.

"Ah, the force is strong in this one. Keep your foot on the gas lover boy" Shego said as she undid her seat belt.

"What?"

"Trust me, Stoppable." Shego said as she slid across the seat, and began to straddle Ron's lap.

"Great view from back here." Ron said as he saw how tight Shego's pants really were as she sat in his lap.

"Ooh. Someone's enjoying this." she said with a smirk. "But you're going to have to slide over, Stoppable."

"Do I have to?" Ron whined.

"Sex while ditching the cops? As kinky as that sounds, I'm afraid you'll have to scoot over." Shego said, with Ron moving.

"Spoil sport." Ron said to her.

"Cyborg, are you out there?" Shego asked into the CB.

"_About time you answered. News about what you did to the biker cop is all over the radio. What's your twenty?"_ Felix asked them.

"I'm coming up on mile marker 85." Shego said.

"_All right, I know just where you are. Try and loose that smoky real quick, there's a convoy about four miles ahead of you." _Felix said.

"Hot damn! Someone up there likes us. See you in a few Cyborg." Shego said and hung up the mic.

"I know I'm going to get slapped in the mouth for this, but hat's so great about a convoy?" Ron asked.

"Just watch and learn, monkey boy."

"Hey, that was low." Ron said.

"What was – oops! Sorry about that, I forgot." Shego said as she remembered Ron's phobia.

Shego pushed the car faster, and soon left the cops behind in a trail of dust. She knew they would catch up real soon, which is why she was happier than a pig in a mud puddle when she spotted the convoy.

"This here is the Bandit. Would y'all mind helping little ol' me out of a jam?" Shego asked over the radio.

"_10-4 Bandit. This is the Snowman talking to ya. Cyborg just filled us in. We're openin' the gate, feel free to pull on in." _the voice said as a truck hauling a Wal-Mart trailer slowly moved into Shego's lane and sped up a little bit.

"Now what?" Ron asked.

"Now we're fixing to be safer than we were in the womb." Shego said as she pulled into the empty spot, and watched as the trucker slowed down and drove right beside them.

Shego kept glancing at the truck beside her, mainly under it, to see what was passing. Ron kept looking at the spot Shego kept glancing to, and held his breath when he saw the lower part of the cop car begin to drive right beside the truck. Ron was scared that this was it, that they were finally going to be caught. His fear soon turned to disbelief as the cop car began to speed away, and took the nearest exit.

"I don't believe it." Ron said.

"What did I tell you?" Shego asked him with a smile.

"_This is the Snowman, you're all clear Bandit. Make sure and do all of us proud."_ The trucker said.

"_This here's Little Beaver, Bandit. Go and give em' hell like you always do!"_ the voice of a woman said over the radio.

The trucker veered off to the side and let Bandit pull safely out of the convoy before taking his spot back in the long line of truckers. Felix was soon driving right behind Shego and Ron as the truckers honked their horns and wishing the trio good luck.

* * *

"WHAT DO THOSE DIP SHITS MEAN THEY LOST HIM?" Kim screamed as they flew down the road. 

"Well,"

"SHOVE IT, LARRY!" Kim screamed.

"_All units, all units! We just got a big hot tip. The Bandit is heading for The Southern Classic. All available units are to immediately to pursuit the Bandit."_

"HA HA! Now I've got you by the balls, and I'm going to be there to cut them off with a pair of pinking sheers!" Kim shouted with joy.

"Wouldn't a scalpel be a more appropriate tool?" Larry asked her.

"The pinking sheers will hurt more." Kim told him.

"Why would you ant it to hurt more?" Larry asked her.

"Why me, Lord?" Kim asked to the sky above her.

* * *

"How much further until we get to the Southern Classic?" Ron asked her. 

"We still got a long way yet." Shego said.

"Then can I ask you something?" Ron asked her.

"Sure."

"If we win, will you go steady with me?" Ron asked her.

"I'll think about it." Shego said they flew down the road.

"_This is the Silver Tongued Devil to the Bandit."_ A voice said on the radio.

"This is the Bandit, hat can I do for you?" Shego asked.

"_I hate to rain on your parade, but I've got a big bad bear story for ya. You got a County Mounty road block about five miles ahead of you."_ The trucker said.

"Aw, crap. Not another one. Thanks for the update." Shego said.

"Again with the road blocks. So what is this wonder car going to do this time?" Ron asked her.

"Nothing right now. I've got one more trick left, but that won't help with a road block." Shego said. "Damn it. Cyborg, come back." Shego said.

"_This is the Cyborg, talk to me."_

"We've got a road block up ahead. They don't know you're tagging along with us, so you might want to get out of here. There's still a chance you can get there." Shego told him.

"_Now wait just a damn minute. You two sons of bitches talked me into this bullshit, and there's a good chance my wife's filling out divorce papers right now! So I ain't giving up yet! If they haven't heard about me yet, then they're about to!"_ Felix said over the radio, and passed Shego and Ron to take the lead.

"Holy Shit, I think we're going to make it." Shego said with a laugh.

"I can just taste that beer now." Ron said.

"Don't you mean money?" Shego asked him.

"No, I'm thirsty! As soon as we stop, I'm taking a drink!" Ron said as the followed Felix.

* * *

"Okay men, this should be simple. We've got woods on either end of the road, so they can't do any of their fancy tricks. As soon as they stop, we drag their butts out of the car and arrest them." The sheriff said to his men. 

"What if they don't stop?" one officer said.

"They will." The sheriff said as he cocked his twelve gauge shot gun.

"Twelve bucks says they stop." One deputy said to his partner.

"Fifty says they don't." his partner said.

"Would you two shut up?" the sheriff asked.

"Sheriff, I think I hear something coming." The deputy said.

"Remember, don't move until they stop." The sheriff said.

The sheriff looked down the road and saw a large big rig heading there way. It looked like he would have to flag this guy down and get him to pull over. He began to wave to the trucker, trying to let him know to slow down. The funny thing was, this guy wasn't lowing down but speeding up. The sheriff began waving faster at the driver, trying to tell him to pull over, but the driver wasn't responding.

"Sheriff, I know you said not to move, but that guy looks like he ain't stopping." One deputy asked.

"You think we should move?" the other deputy asked.

"Unless you ant to be asphalt pizza, HIT THE DIRT YOU TURKEYS!" the sheriff shouted as they dove toward the side of the road.

"CHARGE!" Felix shouted as his truck plowed through the road block, sending the one of the cars flipping off to the side of the road while the two others flipped along the road like a rock down a hill. When the officers looked up, they saw the Bandit drive right on by.

"DAMN IT TO HELL! My car's still good; let's get that son of a bitch!" The sheriff said as he flew into the driver seat of his patrol car.

"Sheriff, wait! Your gun!" a deputy shouted as he tossed the shout gun through the window.

A loud blast was heard as the gun went off and blew out a part of the bottom of the car, with the sheriff howling in pain.

"MY FOOT! MY FOOT!" the sheriff screamed.

"You think I'm in trouble?" the deputy asked his partner.

"YOU'RE FIRED!" the sheriff screamed.

"I think that's a maybe." The partner replied as a whole line of cop cars that was almost a mile long passed by, along with a broken down POS driven by a red head bring up the rear.

* * *

"Hey Ron, remember that last trick I said?" Shego asked. 

"Yeah." Ron said.

"Do me a favor and pull the emergency break." Shego said.

"You better know what you're doing." Ron mumbled as he yanked the break upwards.

The license plate in the back opened and several spikes fell onto the road, almost looking like a deadly set of jacks.

"Don't look back." Shego said.

Ron turned around in time to see four cop cars hit the spikes, and their tires become shredded rubber. To flipped over end over end before coming to a stop while the other two tried to skid to a stop and hit the two flipped cars. Soon, cruiser after police cruiser started piling on top of each other, creating a small mountain of twisted metal and smoke, with several sirens dying out with their last breath. A few of the dazed officer began to stagger out as the few remaining cruisers went around the car pile and continue the chase while others looked to see what the hell had happened.

"They broke my watch!" one officer cried out as a POS cruiser drove by, still holding up the rear.

"Was that Kim Possible?" one officer asked.

"Did you see that Piece of Shit? There ain't no way in hell a girl like her would be caught dead driving something like that." Another officer said.

* * *

"You know Daddy, I don't think they're going to make it." Little Enos said as he took a puff on his cigar, and straitening his tie that matched his blue rhinestone cowboy style suit. 

"Now you just wait and don't count your chickens before they hatch. Remember the last time you thought that?" Big Enos asked, wearing the same, but slightly larger, blue rhinestone suit.

"I remember. Cost me a shit load of pocket change that time." Little Enos said as they watched the cars race in front of them.

"HERE THEY COME!" someone shouted from the stands.

When they heard the loud honk of a big rig getting closer by the second, Little Enos started getting a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"I knew it! I knew history would repeat itself!" Big Enos said with a loud laugh and a shit eating grin.

"Something tells me this day just went straight to hell in a hand basket." Little Enos said as they stood and watched where the commotion was coming from.

* * *

Felix was shouting and hooting like crazy as they came to the entrance of the Southern Classic and plowed right through the locked gates and making people dive out of the way. Instead of flowing the way of traffic that the signs said to go, they cut though all the orange cones and barrier tape and straight toward the racing track. There in the center of the track, sitting at a covered table with an elaborate lunch were the fat man a shrimp themselves. Felix plowed through the track, making a few of the racers veer off and slam on their breaks, and parked the big rig right in front of their two benefactors. Shego and Ron pulled up right beside Felix's big rig, whooping and hollering up a storm. 

"WE DID IT! WE DID IT!" Ron was shouting as he hoped out, and spun Shego around in a huge hug while Felix was laughing like a maniac and carrying his dog Fred.

"You sure did it all right. You even beat the original record by an hour." Big Enos said.

"We brought the beer, so does that mean you hold up your end?" Ron asked them.

"That's right. You all get the money wired to your accounts, and Shego's record never happened.

Shego shouted with glee and kissed Ron in a deep passionate kiss. Big and Little Enos did their best not to laugh while the two swapped spit.

"Okay, but we're in trouble and we need a way out of here." Felix said.

"Take my Cadillac, I've got more than enough to spare." Big Enos said and tossed the keys to Shego as she and Ron broke their kiss.

"How about double or nothing?" Little Enos asked them.

The trio looked at each other for a brief second, and all three flipped Little Enos off at the same time.

"We might be dumb, but we're not that dumb." Ron said as he climbed into the passenger seat of the Cadillac convertible while Shego took the driver's seat and Felix took the back.

"Well, I might be. I found out that Fred is a Fredina. Now I'm going to have to call her Paddle Foot." Felix said, causing his two friends to laugh as they drove off.

"They have to be the craziest sons of bitches I ever met." Big Enos said to his son.

"What do you expect? Her daddy is the one that made this run in the first place. And you still owe me 900 from that bet." Little Enos said.

"Shit, I thought you forgot about that." Big Enos said.

"Not a chance." Little Enos replied.

* * *

Shego, Ron, and Felix were laughing a mile per minute until they swerved at the last minute to miss the incoming police cars, and watched as one side swiped Kim and ran her off into a ditch. 

"Larry, arrest that bastard!" Kim shouted at Larry.

"But cuz,"

"JUST DO IT!" Kim screamed at him, making the young man leave the car and walk toward the parked police cruiser that ran them off the road.

"Watch this." Shego snickered as she picked up the mic to the Cadillac's CB radio. "Kim possible, pick up." Shego said.

"Who is this?" Kim asked.

"_This is none other than the Bandit."_

"Where are you, you son of a bitch?" Kim asked.

"_Before I say where I am, I just want to congratulate you. I have been chased by the best, and you just put them to shame, Miss Possible. You've made all of them look like they were running in slow motion. It's been an honor."_

"Why thank you, Mr. Bandit. Now allow me to dignify that with, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH?" Kim demanded.

"_I'm down there in the arena. I'm a six foot, five inch, tall man standing next to a dwarf wearing the most hideous suit you've ever seen."_ Shego aid with a smile, but it only got broader as she turned back to Kim and brought the mic back to her mouth.

"_Now I can't do that. You're just too good an officer. Turn around and look to your left, Princess."_

"No way." Kim said in a low voice as she slowly turned to the left to see who was behind her.

When she saw who was in the car, her eyes almost popped out of her head as she sounded like she was trying to swallow her own throat. For a moment, the look on her face had made it seem like the entire shock of the situation had made her shit herself.

"Now if you'll excuse me, Kimmie; Ron and I have a date at a drive through wedding chapel in Vegas." Shego said with a smile.

"Really?" Ron asked her.

"You bet your ass, lover boy." She told him.

"No hard feelings, Kim!" Ron said as they sped off down the road.

"NO WAY IN HELL! I'M NOT DONE YET! YOU GET YOUR FUCKING ASS BACK HERE YOU BITCH! BASTARD! WHATEVER THE HELL YOU ARE! I'M NOT GIVING UP YET! I'M NOT GIVING UP!" Kim screamed as she backed the POS out, and turned it towards the direction the trio had fled.

As she cursed and screamed profanity at them, Larry was running after Kim's car while trying to flag her down.

"Cuz, wait! Wait up! I've still got to tell you about my fan fiction I posted!"

"_Eastbound and Down, loaded up and truckin'._

_We gonna do what they say can't be done._

_We've got a long way to go, and a short time to get there._

_I'm eastbound, Just watch ol' Bandit run!_

"_Keep your foot hard on the pedal,_

_Son, never mind them brakes._

_Let it all hang out 'cause we got a run to make._

_Those boys are thirsty in Atlanta, _

_And there's beer in Texarkana,_

_And we'll bring it back no matter what it takes._

"_Eastbound and Down, loaded up and truckin'._

_We gonna do what they say can't be done._

_We've got a long way to go, and a short time to get there._

_I'm eastbound, Just watch ol' Bandit run!_

"_Old Smokey's got them ears on, _

_He's hot on your trail,_

_He ain't gonna rest 'til you're in jail._

_So you got to dodge him, _

_You got to duck him._

_You've got to keep that diesel truckin'_

_Just put that hammer down and give it hell._

"_Eastbound and Down, loaded up and truckin'._

_We gonna do what they say can't be done._

_We've got a long way to go, and a short time to get there._

_I'm eastbound, Just watch ol' Bandit run!_

* * *

That's it for the story, and I hope you all have enjoyed it.

Now, on to the previews!!!!

_

* * *

_

"Oh no! KP, it isn't!"

"I'm afraid so, Ron."

_It's one of the most frightening moments of the year._

"Not that! Not that! "Not,"

"Science Fair, people! And this time, I'm not assigning partners."

"NNOOOOO!!!!!"

_So Ron turns to the only people he knows that can help him._

"Let me get this straight. You want us to help you with your science fair project?" the older man asked him.

"Yeah. You know, I don't blab about your plans or your hideout in return. I thought we could use something from my great granddad's journal." Ron said as he produced a very old and dusty manuscript.

"Dr. Fronk-En-Steen? Who's that?" the scientist asked.

"Dr. D, it's pronounced Frankenstein." The pale skinned villainess corrected.

"Oh. OH! Yes! There is a Santa Claus!" the blue skinned doctor cheered.

_Of course, not everything goes to plan._

"Dr. D. Are you telling me you put an abnormal brain in a seven and a half foot, sixty-two inch wide, GORIILA? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME?" the villainess screamed as she began to strangle her employer.

"Stoppable! Giver her the UG! Give her the!"

_From the warped mind that gave you Eastbound and Down_

_**SCIENCE PROJECT**_

_A KP/Young Frankenstein Fusion_

_

* * *

_

_But only one thing has made him question that;_

_The one woman he ever loved._

_Now time has thrown them together again, and will forever change their lives._

_A secret will be revealed._

"Bruce, I should have told you a long time ago." She said as she fought back the tears.

"I wish you had, too." He said as he remained in the shadows.

"Just don't let her become involved with this kind of life. That's all I ask."

_A Hero will evolve._

"Ron, I've never trained this hard before." She said as she stretched her sore muscles.

"Do you want to stop?" he asked her.

"Not even if you begged." She said with a smirk.

_And a Legacy shall live on._

The laughter stopped erupting from his pale face as he saw the large shadow over him. It was impossible; he had him on the ground in front of him. So who was behind him? As he turned, he saw something terrifying in the darkness. Something that would not stop until it got it's revenge.

Her.

_**LEGACY OF THE BAT**_

_

* * *

_

_One so great, that it has brought two legends together._

_And the only way they'll win the fight, is if they join forces._

"I work alone." The figure growled from behind his cowl.

"**So do I, but it looks like we don't have a choice.**" The figure said through the red sash that covered the lower half of his face.

_Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?_

_They Do._

_Batman & __The Shadow_

_**Shadows of the Knight**_

_A story by FAH3 & StarDragon77_

* * *

And last but not least.

* * *

"I'm so very disappointed in you my son. In your every attempt at villainy, you have failed miserably." Senor Senior said to his son. 

"I almost succeeded with Miss Shego in stealing that cookie recipe. But you sabotaged,"

"THAT DOES NOT COUNT!" the old man said, and gathered himself. "Is there anything you can do, son?"

"How about rigged race?" Junior asked his father.

"Now, a simple race is nothing. Something on a much more grander scale. Maybe a race from California to Florida. Yes, a cross country race with a two million dollar grand prize. And it shall be arranged to where you shall win the prize money." Senor Senior said.

"But pop, there is no race like that anymore."

"So? Buy one." Senor Senior said.

"Of course!" Junior said.

_Money_

"How have you been doing since your nervous breakdown, Miss Possible?" Dr. Director asked the young redhead.

"You mean besides my best friend being a partner in my arch enemy's latest scheme, humiliating me, not being able to arrest them because of crooked politics, and then both of them getting married? I'm fine." Kim said as she painted on a picture, and then threw the brush at a fly on a near by tree.

Dr. Director's eye widened when she saw the brush handle was embedded into the tree trunk like a knife.

"Well, Global Justice needs your help." The older woman said.

_Cars_

"Hey, lover boy." Shego said as she sat on her husband's lap, wearing a very skimpy bikini.

"What can I do for you, gorgeous?" Ron asked his wife.

"I found the perfect anniversary gift. Remember that little run from Texas to Georgia?" she asked him.

"Maybe." Ron said.

"How about a race from California to Florida?" she asked him.

_And Open Road._

_What more could you ask for?_

_THE NEED FOR SPEED_

_A KP/Cannon Ball Run fusion_


End file.
